Are you struggling with the lasting impact of trauma from infidelity?
Healing after infidelity can be a difficult and prolonged journey.
However, with the appropriate support, it’s possible to learn to manage the effects of betrayal trauma and move forward with your life.
This article delves into the PTSD-like symptoms that may occur following infidelity and offers six practical strategies for healing.
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Can infidelity cause post-traumatic stress disorder?
After infidelity, a betrayed partner may experience symptoms similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Being cheated on breaks an attachment bond within a committed relationship, which can be profound and traumatic.
Post-infidelity stress disorder is a term used to describe the psychological and emotional distress that can occur after experiencing infidelity in a relationship.
While not officially recognized as a formal diagnosis, PISD is used to convey the significant and lasting impact infidelity can have on your mental health and well-being.
What are the warning signs of post-infidelity stress disorder?
Let’s explore the typical symptoms and warning signs of post-infidelity stress disorder.
Signs of trauma from infidelity #1: Rumination
One significant symptom of post-infidelity stress disorder is obsessively thinking about the affair.
You might constantly dwell on your partner’s betrayal and the pain they caused.
Even when you attempt to focus on other things, you may experience unwanted, intrusive thoughts and flashbacks related to the infidelity.
Signs of trauma from infidelity #2: Hypervigilance
Moreover, hypervigilance is a sign that you may be experiencing post-infidelity stress disorder.
Whether trying to make things work with your unfaithful partner or starting a new relationship, you may find yourself constantly on edge, especially in situations that remind you of being betrayed in the past.
For instance, if your previous partner cheated on you with one of their co-workers, you might be cautious if your new partner stays late at work.
Signs of trauma from infidelity #3: Emotional distress
If you are experiencing persistent, intense emotions that are difficult to manage, you might be experiencing post-infidelity stress disorder.
For example, you might feel overwhelmed by sadness and grief due to the relationship you believed in and the future you had imagined together.
You might also feel intense anger towards your partner or yourself.
Additionally, it’s common to blame yourself and question if there’s anything you could have done differently to prevent your partner from cheating.
Signs of trauma from infidelity #4: Feeling numb
After being betrayed by a partner, you may feel emotionally numb.
To protect yourself from the pain, you might shut yourself off from your emotions altogether.
This struggle to access your emotions often leads to feeling disorientated and disconnected from others.
Signs of trauma from infidelity #5: Anxiety and depression
Another common symptom of infidelity trauma is increased symptoms of anxiety and depression.
For example, you may have ongoing and excessive worry that is difficult to control, or you may be experiencing persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness.
Sometimes, these symptoms may be severe and interfere with your daily functioning.
Experiencing betrayal trauma puts you at a higher risk of developing mental health conditions like anxiety or depression.
Signs of trauma from infidelity #6: Trust issues
Trust issues are a major sign of post-infidelity stress disorder.
Distrust of others can last, even if you decide to end things with the person who cheated.
You may find it challenging to trust in your subsequent relationships, even if your partner hasn’t given you a reason to doubt their loyalty.
For instance, simply knowing that your partner has a friend of the opposite sex may trigger feelings of jealousy and paranoia.
If trust issues are causing tension in your relationship, join the Save Your Marriage Course and get expert insights to help you communicate better, understand each other’s needs, and navigate conflict.
Steps to healing trauma from infidelity
Now, let’s talk about six practical steps for healing from betrayal trauma.
Heal trauma from infidelity #1: Seek support
Healing from the trauma of infidelity can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone.
Lean on your trusted support system of friends and family as you manage the ongoing effects of betrayal trauma.
Additionally, consider seeking professional help.
As you and your partner work to rebuild your relationship, couples counseling will help you find a way forward after infidelity and repair trust.
Alternatively, couples therapy will help you navigate a new relationship while managing the effects of betrayal trauma.
Book a complimentary consultation to see if working with us would be a good fit.
Heal trauma from infidelity #2: Practice self-care
Don’t neglect to take care of your physical and emotional well-being during this time.
Prioritize regular exercise, eat healthy foods, get enough rest, and engage in activities that bring you joy, can all contribute to healing.
As you heal from the trauma of infidelity, focus on rebuilding your self-esteem.
Being cheated on can make you question your worth.
To boost your self-esteem, engage in activities or hobbies that interest you and contribute to your growth.
Learning new skills or exploring new interests will boost your confidence and sense of accomplishment.
Additionally, spending time with supportive and uplifting people can help counteract the negative impact of the trauma.
Heal trauma from infidelity #3: Set healthy boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries (like when you talk about the affair, having your partner’s phone code, and location sharing) is an essential aspect of affair recovery.
For example, decide on specific times to discuss the infidelity and other times to avoid the topic.
Additionally, you can set boundaries by allocating time to process your feelings about the affair.
This approach can help prevent painful thoughts and memories from consuming your entire day.
Heal trauma from infidelity #4: Move towards acceptance
Another essential aspect of healing from the trauma of infidelity is moving toward acceptance.
Acceptance is coming to terms with the fact that you cannot change what has happened, and there is no way to return to who you were before the traumatic event.
When you accept the reality of the situation, you realize that the effects of being betrayed are ongoing, and there is no quick fix to instantly “get over it.”
Coping with the long-term effects of infidelity is something that you will have to continue to manage as you navigate new situations and relationships.
Heal trauma from infidelity #5: Don’t rush the healing process
Healing from the trauma of infidelity doesn’t happen overnight.
It doesn’t follow a clear timeline or progress in neat stages.
Some days, you may feel hopeful about the future and feel like you can finally breathe again.
However, you might get triggered the next day, and all the painful thoughts and emotions come flooding back.
Remind yourself that the healing process is full of ups and downs.
Be gentle with yourself, and offer yourself the compassion you would offer a friend.
What are the symptoms of infidelity trauma?
After sexual and emotional infidelity, a betrayed partner may experience symptoms similar to posttraumatic stress disorder. Common symptoms of infidelity trauma include increased anxiety and depression, intrusive thoughts or flashbacks about the affair, hypervigilance, avoidance behaviors, trust issues, and decreased self-esteem.
How long does cheating trauma last?
The impact of infidelity varies and is influenced by factors such as the circumstances of the infidelity and the ability to access mental health services. Seeking support from a clinical psychologist or relationship coach is helpful as you deal with the emotional impact of infidelity and address unresolved issues.
How do you heal from infidelity trauma?
Here are some tips to help you navigate healing from infidelity trauma: 1. Process your feelings through journaling or talking to a trusted friend or family member. 2. Find support. 3. Prioritize self-care. 4. Develop healthy coping strategies. 5. Be patient with yourself.
How does cheating affect the cheater?
Studies show that many unfaithful partners feel remorse, ranging from superficial regret to deep, heartfelt repentance. Research suggests that cheaters’ levels of remorse depend on various factors, including their values, the circumstances surrounding the infidelity, and their motivations.
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