What To Expect From Marriage Counseling | 13 Things To Know

Perhaps you and your partner are considering seeking support, and you’re wondering what to expect from marriage counseling.

Feeling hesitant or anxious about trying relationship therapy for the first time is expected.

However, marriage counseling can lead to many positive changes within your relationship.

Learning about what to expect from marriage counseling can help you feel more comfortable seeking support.

What to expect from marriage counseling: what is the most common problem addressed in couples therapy?

Marriage counseling helps couples navigate various challenges.

There are many reasons couples seek counseling, such as:

• Persistent fights or arguments.
• Negative patterns of communication.
• Emotional disconnect
• Intimacy issues.
• Difficult past experiences that are affecting the relationship.
• Conflict with in-laws or other family members.
• Addictions.
• Mental health problems.

At the same time, marital problems are not a requirement for seeking relationship therapy. Some couples seek therapy to learn ways to keep their relationship healthy and strong.

Counseling allows couples to adopt patterns that are conducive to healthy relationships.

What to expect from marriage counseling: what is the success rate of couples counseling?

Research shows that couples counseling is highly beneficial for many couples.

Studies found that approximately 50-80% of couples show significant improvements in their relationship after completing counseling sessions together.

Couples who engaged in counseling reported increased trust and intimacy and improved communication skills.

Additionally, couples reported being more satisfied with their relationships overall.

Other studies found that couples who attend counseling are more likely to stay together.

Additionally, many couples participate in premarital counseling to prepare for marriage.

Couples who participated in counseling often feel more empowered as they make decisions about their relationship.

Ultimately, these findings demonstrate the powerful impact of marital therapy on improving relationship dynamics and the likelihood of making love last.

The difference between marriage counseling and coaching

Marriage and family therapists are experienced in helping couples address relationship issues and determine how to move forward.

Many couples therapists are trained in the Gottman Method.

The Gottman Method is grounded in decades of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman about what comprises a loving relationship.

Marriage counseling and marriage coaching are two different approaches to helping you improve your relationship.

Marriage counseling typically focuses on addressing issues or conflicts within a relationship and involves meeting with a licensed marriage and family therapist. A licensed therapist works with a couple to explore their individual and shared histories, emotions, and behaviors and identify any patterns causing problems.

On the other hand, marriage coaching tends to be more proactive and goal-oriented. A marriage coach supports couples in identifying their values, goals, and aspirations for the relationship and works with them to create a plan to achieve those goals.

As marriage coaches, we help you identify areas you want to transform and support you in building the relationship you want.

We’ll teach you effective marriage communication and intimacy skills and strategies for managing stress and conflict.

Also, we offer support, action steps, and accountability as you work towards your goals.

While both approaches can help couples improve their relationships, marriage counseling focuses more on conflicts and emotional issues.

In contrast, marriage coaching focuses more on skill-building so you have life-long tools for a happy marriage.

What to expect from marriage counseling sessions?

When you work with a Lasting Love Connection Coach, we’ll typically start with an assessment of your relationship and how you want it to change.

Next, we’ll identify the issues, conflicts, and patterns causing problems in your marriage.

We’ll explore ways to communicate so you both feel understood and teach you methods to resolve conflict in a more respectful way.

If you’re wondering what to expect from marriage counseling with us, book a complimentary couples consult.

Couples sessions help you and your spouse

• Gain insight into communication issues and unhealthy ways of handling conflict.
• Increase understanding of each other’s perspectives.
• Work through past hurts or resentments that affect your current relationship.
• Address concerns related to physical intimacy.
• Identify shared relationship values and goals.
• Strengthen intimacy and trust.

Therapy sessions are not only a place to discuss relationship issues you may be facing.

Working with a therapist also provides an opportunity to learn the keys to a successful marriage and develop the techniques essential for healthy relationships.

Related Reading: Questions for Marriage Counseling

What to expect from marriage counseling activities

• active listening exercises that focus on strengthening communication skills
• problem-solving scenarios
• role-playing activities for exploring different points of view
• intimacy-building exercises
• cognitive reframing techniques for challenging unhelpful patterns or thought processes
• relaxation exercises for reducing stress levels during difficult conversations

In addition, most therapists assign homework assignments to complete between sessions. These activities are aimed at deepening the connection between you.

For example, your couples therapist may ask you and your partner to plan weekly date nights. Date nights allow you to enjoy one-on-one time without outside distractions.

What to expect from marriage counseling: couples therapy isn’t about changing your partner

Couples therapy isn’t about confronting your spouse with their wrongdoings or getting them to change who they are. Instead, it’s about understanding the part you both play in your relationship dynamics.

Couples therapy helps you to understand your reactions and behaviors better. Also, you gain more insight into your partner’s perspectives.

In addition, couples therapy allows you and your spouse to become more open with one another about your relationship.

Ultimately, couples therapy allows you to learn new things about yourself and each other and grow closer.

What to expect from marriage counseling: what are the main goals of the first session?

The first marriage counseling session aims to identify the primary source of your relationship problems.

During the first session, your therapist will ask questions to get an idea of your relationship dynamics.

Also, your therapist will inquire about other factors that can affect your marriage. These factors include chronic illness, mental health problems, or financial strain.

Hearing the whole story allows your therapist to better understand your unique circumstances and needs.

The relationship assessment in your first therapy session helps your therapist develop a road map and appropriate treatment plan custom-tailored to your relationship.

Additionally, you may spend the first session (or the first few sessions) setting goals for your relationship. Having clear goals guides what you focus on in each couples counseling session.

What to expect from marriage counseling: how to prepare for your first session with a couples therapist?

At Lasting Love Connection, we have you and your partner fill out a relationship assessment form before your first session.

This way, you start thinking about your relationship in a new light before sessions even begin.

Examples of relationship assessment questions

• What do you hope to learn from couples therapy?
• What skills do you hope to develop?
• Ideally, what would your relationship look like at the end of our time together?

Second, before each couples counseling session, think about what you would like to get out of our time together. This keeps the sessions focused.

Third, be open to sharing openly about your relationship with your relationship coach.

Fourth, commit to attending your scheduled sessions on time. Consistency is essential for continuing to make progress in sessions.

Finally, be prepared to exercise patience. It takes time to implement new habits and communication patterns. Understanding this beforehand allows you to approach each session with realistic expectations.

What to expect from marriage counseling: will couples counseling really work?

Couples therapy is the most effective way to address and resolve relationship issues.

A trained therapist will support you and your partner in expressing yourselves more clearly and building greater understanding and trust.

Research has revealed that couples who participate in counseling report reduced conflict, improved communication, and enhanced connection and overall satisfaction in their relationships.

However, several factors can significantly affect whether couples therapy will be effective:

• The commitment level of both partners.
• The timing of when you seek therapy and how long you wait to get help.
• An effective coach you feel safe with.

Both you and your partner must be motivated to make the relationship better

For couples therapy to be effective, both partners must be committed to the therapeutic process.

This involves being willing to take responsibility for your role in the relationship dynamic and keeping an open mind to new perspectives.

If only one partner is invested in attending therapy, it can be challenging to make changes that lead to a healthy relationship.

For example, one partner may be eager to work things out, while the other is mentally checked out and ready to end the relationship.

For couples counseling to be beneficial, both you and your spouse must desire positive change and be committed to improving things.

Don’t wait until relationship problems build up to seek therapy

The timing of relationship counseling makes a significant difference. Just like wounds fester if left untreated, so do marital problems.

Getting help sooner than later decreases long-term damage.

For example, doctors report that many cancers could have been cured if the person had come in sooner.

The same goes for marital conflict. Don’t wait too long. Getting support early can lead to a vastly different outcome for your relationship.

According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, couples wait an average of six years before reaching out for support.

Now imagine if an issue would have been resolved in its first or second year.

Additionally, unhealthy patterns deeply woven into a relationship dynamic take more work to weed out and transform into new, healthy behaviors.

Find the right therapist

Finding a couples therapist that you and your spouse feel comfortable with is essential to your success.

Just like talking to a close friend requires emotional safety, you also need that with your therapist. Yet, your coach is also there to push, poke, and prod.

Being able to express your true concerns with your therapist allows your couples counselor to give you the best advice.

For that to happen, you need to trust your therapist’s approach as they challenge you to explore uncomfortable emotions.

Finding the right therapist may take trial and error.

Finding a couples coach may take trial and error.

In our experience, this is best done by offering you a complimentary couples consultation. If you’d like to talk to one of our coaches, sign up for a consultation.

What to expect from marriage counseling: how to get your partner to do couples counseling?

Getting your spouse to agree to couples counseling can be daunting.

Not everyone wants to do it. Many people are afraid, anxious, or uneasy about starting.

If you’d like your partner to try it, we suggest a hassle-free couples consultation so you can feel it out and allow us to make the process easy.

If you’re not ready for a couples consultation, here are some ways to talk to your spouse about therapy and couples work.

Explain the benefits of couples therapy sessions.

Start by initiating a gentle conversation about what therapy entails and the benefits it can have for your relationship.

Some of our clients utilized these examples to convince their partner to try therapy:

• It gives us a neutral ground to talk.
• With expert support, we can discuss sensitive topics without fighting.
• We can work together to resolve recurring conflicts as a team.
• It is an opportunity to learn new skills and improve our marriage communication style.

During your talk, stress the importance of having a neutral person who can offer new perspectives and strategies for improving your marriage.

Tell your spouse that couples counseling is not only about resolving current relationship issues. It also builds new skills for navigating future challenges.

This is like putting money into your retirement fund, but in this case, it’s your love bank.

Understand your partner may have hesitations about what to expect from marriage counseling.

The idea of marriage counseling can feel intimidating, particularly for those unfamiliar with mental health treatment.

As you discuss the idea of relationship counseling, avoid pressuring your partner into agreeing immediately.

Allow them time to process their thoughts and emotions without judgment. Make space for whatever feelings come up.

Your spouse may feel shame or embarrassment about seeing a therapist.

They may be fearful or hesitant about discussing their feelings with another person, especially a stranger. They may wonder how many sessions they will have to commit to.

Listen attentively as they express any concerns.

You may not have all the answers, which is why we offer a complimentary couples consultation. Let your partner know you don’t have all the answers, but you want to try it.

For example, not everyone with a sports injury knows how to recover. That’s why they hire a specialist who knows exactly what’s needed.

If your spouse is hesitant about in-person counseling, explore other possibilities, such as online counseling or group therapy sessions.

Your partner might be more receptive to starting with individual therapy.

An individual session gives your partner a safe space to address any personal challenges or mental health issues affecting your relationship.

In addition to individual sessions, another option to consider is family therapy.

This type of counseling can incorporate other family members who may play a role in challenging dynamics at home.

Consider online marriage counseling

Online counseling is a convenient option for working on your relationship.

Online therapy alleviates the stress of commuting to a far-away office and the need for finding childcare and figuring out parking.

Accessing sessions from anywhere makes it easier to have both partners present. This is especially beneficial for long-distance couples or those with conflicting work schedules. We see many busy couples while one partner is traveling or even on lunch break while the other partner is at home with the kids.

Compared to face-to-face sessions, online therapy makes synchronizing busy schedules much easier. We even offer after-hours and weekend availability. This gives you more support to be parents and busy worker-bees.

Lastly, many people tend to be more relaxed in their own environment rather than in a counselor’s office. We also think it’s best to work on issues in the home, not in a stuffy office that doesn’t reflect your daily lives.

Attending therapy sessions from your own space makes it easier to open up and address issues where they happen — in the home.

How does marriage counseling work when you do it online?

Online marriage counseling is an excellent way to get support in navigating complex relationship issues.

The process is the same, whether you’re meeting with a therapist face to face or virtually. In fact, studies cited by PubMed and Psych Net show that online and in-person sessions have the same positive effects, even for people suffering from clinical depression.

However, online marriage counseling offers additional benefits, such as flexibility and convenience. Whether you opt for online marriage counseling allows you to address challenges in a safe space and move towards a more fulfilling relationship.

Book a complimentary couples consult.

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