Intimacy is one of the most misunderstood aspects of life.
Many people confuse intimacy with sex and physical connection. Though these things might increase intimacy in a relationship, intimacy is much more than that.
Since thousands of women regularly read our article, My Husband Wants Sex But Not Intimacy, we know these intimate ideas are needed and more important than ever. So if you’re struggling to improve the intimate connection in your relationship, keep reading.
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Why is Intimacy Important?
Intimacy acts as a building block of a healthy relationship. And intimacy helps your spouse or partner realize their importance in your life.
It doesn’t matter what norms or values you believe in; it’s natural to want to feel loved and accepted by your partner. To build a healthy bond with your loved one, you need to build emotionally and physically intimate relationships.
Learning new intimate ideas for married couples and incorporating them into your daily life is an excellent way to achieve a strong bond.
1. Intimacy Ideas – Try New Activities Together
One of our favorite ways to get couples to spend time together is to encourage them to try regular date nights. Quite often, date nights alone boost attraction and desire.
We suggest you try something new when we talk about date nights. In the Anatomy of Love, research from Dr. Helen Fisher proves that new activities boost those ‘in love feelings.’
If you want help finding fun dates, check out our Date night questions.
2. Connect Physically Without It Leading To Sex
Often people are touch-starved, and the only time they experience touch is when it will lead to sex. Non-sexual touch is as important as having sex with your partner. Touch lowers heart rate, blood pressure, and stress, and boosts your mood.
Physical touch is also one of the 5 Love Languages and can help deepen intimacy between you and your partner.
Intimacy Ideas For Exploring Non-Sexual Touch
- Connect with your partner daily by hugging them for a few seconds or simply holding their hands.
- While watching Netflix together, remember to cuddle.
- Dance with your partner whenever you hear your favorite song playing.
- Play with their hair and slowly rub their hand, neck, back, or arms with your hands or fingers.
- Massage each without an agenda.
- Try out new ways of touching and stimulating. Here’s one idea, try a dry skin brush. It feels really great, and it’s good for the lymphatic system. Give it a try. You’ll be glad you did!
In our interview with the leading researcher on oxytocin (the chemical that makes us feel love), we learned that touch helps increase our health and lifespan.
Check Out Our Interview With Dr. Paul J. Zak On Why Physical Touch Is Important
3. Have Connected Sex
Sex is important in a relationship as it brings you both together. It makes you feel relaxed and happy, helps you connect with your partner, and offers many psychological benefits.
If you believe that your husband or wife doesn’t desire you, it can be deeply hurtful.
First, sit down with your partner and share your concerns. Ask your partner what would help them to feel more connected and turned on.
Creating time for sexual and physical connection is critical to a healthy relationship.
Intimate Ideas For Physical Connection:
- Have 10-15 second kisses.
- Sit across from each other, knees touching, and softly gaze into each other’s eyes.
- Give your partner a 5-minute massage and then trade.
- Hug for 30 seconds without separating. Allow yourself to relax into it.
- Sit on the ground back to back and take deep breaths in unison (breath in together and exhale together).
- Give couple’s yoga a try (get exercise, stretched, and connected).
- Try a few couple’s tantra practices together (like yab-yum)
- Sit cross-legged and face each other, hold hands, and close your eyes while you focus on sweet memories together.
- Take time and do pillow talk. Get in bed, lay your heads on the pillow, and hang out (dressed or naked).
- Get kinky. Bring some new play into the bedroom (check out sex toys to spice things up).
- Take a shower or bath together to prolong the foreplay.
These are just some of our ways to connect physically. Now it’s your turn – give one of these ideas a try.
Now, let’s look at some of the best intimacy ideas for married couples that are not physical but emotional.
Related Article: Intimacy Exercises
4. Intimate Couple Activities for Emotional Intimacy – Disclose Yourself More
To build a solid and healthy relationship, partners need to continue discovering things about one another. Unfortunately, over time, people lose the urge to dig deeper into their partners’ experiences and stories.
Couples that stop opening up in front of their partners face more difficulty building a solid relationship. Emotional intimacy requires vulnerability and openness.
Start sharing more of yourself with your partner to let them in. Start small if you need to, or go big. To help with sharing, we highly recommend our Intimacy Game.
Related Reading: 15 Strategies for Improving Emotional Intimacy
5. Have Deep Conversations
When you have emotionally revealing conversations, you feel the closest to your partner.
Quite often, couples will come to our virtual office and complain that they’re lacking that ‘spark.’ Come to find out, it’s not there because they’re not sharing deeper feelings, dreams, or insights.
Sharing your emotions with your partner can open you to being seen, heard, and felt. This level of connection is what likely made you fall in love, and it’s what will keep the intimacy flowing.
Being vulnerable with your beau encourages them to deeply connect with you and share their emotions, helping you achieve emotional intimacy.
Intimacy Ideas – Ask Each Other Questions
- As a child, who were three people you admired, and why?
- What is one of your scariest memories in life?
- What is your favorite memory with your partner?
- In what ways are you currently working on yourself to make your life better?
- What would you like your life to look like in five years?
If you’re struggling to create deep intimate conversations, try one of these prompts or our relationship check in questions.
Open-ended and thought-provoking questions can go a long way in helping spark that fire and intimacy.
6. Show That You are Listening
It’s vital to listen to your partner. Listening means fully focusing on your partner rather than doing other tasks while talking to them.
When you notice your partner wants to sit down and talk to you about something, try to stop what you’re doing and be attentive.
A few ways to do that are:
- Put your phone away.
- Face your partner.
- Make eye contact.
- Ask questions to learn more.
These simple steps can go a long way in making someone feel seen, heard, and connected.
Learning to be a better listener in a relationship helps your partner feel cared for and loved. Listening not only helps you fully understand your partner but also helps them feel safe around you. If you can be a non-judgmental listener, your spouse will more likely share everything with you.
When couples call us to discuss their relationship woes, nearly everyone says they’re having communication problems. Yet, being an active listener and making each other feel heard can make or break intimacy.
If you want more tips on being a great listener, try the L.O.V.E method. This simple acronym can give you a simple way to listen like a pro.
Listen.
Observe.
Validate.
Empathize.
We show you how to implement the love method in the Save Your Marriage Workbook.
7. Express Your Appreciation
Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to help your partner feel loved and open.
By sharing the things you’re grateful for about your partner, you can melt resentments and build a stronger bond.
Imagine that you spent the whole day cleaning the house. Your spouse comes home and starts complaining, and you feel resentment build. You did all that work and instead of recognizing that the house is clean, they just complain.
Now imagine that your spouse sees your hard work. They take time to acknowledge how much they appreciate the clean house. What a difference experience gratitude brings.
Your expressed gratitude shows your partner that you care about them, and acknowledge what they’re contributing.
Gratitude is so simple that it’s easy to overlook. Try it right now. Text your partner one thing you’re grateful for about them.
Want to bring more gratitude into your relationship? Try our Appreciation Game.
Intimacy Makes Your Relationship Better
You’ll be a better team when you and your partner are both on the same track. If you want to amp up the intimacy, we suggest you take some time and discuss these ideas with your other half.
Try to benefit from as many intimate couple ideas as you can to make your relationship exciting and connected.
If you’d like more ideas on creating a stronger connection, you can also check out the Intimacy Workshop.
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