Knowing how to be a better wife to your husband starts with being better to yourself. After all, how can you expect to give your husband love and attention if you ignore yourself?
Contrary to outdated marriage advice, being the perfect wife is not about vacuuming in heels and having a home-cooked meal three times a day.
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How to be a better wife starts with you
Having a successful marriage starts with self-compassion by caring for your own needs. Time to care for yourself will make you feel better and give you the strength and energy to be your husband’s supportive and loving partner.
Many women don’t prioritize self-care. Instead, women are socialized to put others’ needs before their own. Putting yourself last can damage your marriage because you can’t give from an empty cup.
A good wife lives her best life.
Being a loving wife can be difficult if you’re feeling run down. Burnout can lead to edginess, passive aggressiveness, increased stress levels, or even yelling at your husband.
Make self-care a priority.
When you feel good as a woman, you can better show up for your husband and be present in the relationship.
Find things that make you feel good and do them regularly. This could be anything from reading, going for walks, taking a yoga class, taking time alone, or getting a massage. You’ll have more to give your husband and your married life when you care for yourself.
What does a husband need from his wife?
Having a great partnership can take hard work. However, the little things can create more love with your person. Set aside time each day or week to focus on your marriage.
Communicate openly with your partner, and work on building trust and intimacy.
And remember, whatever you do, be gentle with yourself in the process.
A good marriage is a journey.
Becoming a great spouse is not a one-time event – it’s a journey that takes time, effort, and patience. So take one small step today and see where it leads you tomorrow.
A good marriage requires a spouse who is a confidante, friend, and lover. Both partners need a source of stability in their life.
Both husband and wife need trust and love for a successful married life.
What makes a husband happy?
Men tend to need regular doses of attention and affirmation.
A happy husband feels appreciated, needed, and loved. He needs to feel that his wife is genuinely in love with him, desires him, and enjoys being around him.
One way to boost your husband’s self-esteem is to affectionately touch and look him in the eyes when you talk to him.
Even little things can help.
A hug, a playful pat on the back, or a gentle squeeze can let him know that you love and appreciate him. When your husband knows that he makes you happy, it will boost his self-esteem and make him feel good about himself.
You love your husband, and your husband loves you, right? If you want to make your husband happy, start by expressing your love for him often.
Show appreciation for what he does for you, and use kind words to tell him how much you appreciate him. Then, make time to be alone with him – without kids, family, work, or other distractions – so you can enjoy each other’s company.
Related Article: How To Be A Better Husband
Key principles for how to be a better wife
To be a better wife, try to talk to your partner daily. This means you can share how you feel and what you’re thinking.
It also helps if you listen to what your spouse has to say.
Another thing you can do is spend your free time connecting with your partner regularly. Time together doesn’t have to mean big gestures. It can be as simple as reaching out with a hug or an appreciation – especially if his love language is physical affection.
Below are some of the best tips and advice for wives so that you can have a happy married life.
1. Put your attention on what makes you happy
One key to being a good wife is focusing on your happiness. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should ignore your husband’s needs – but it does mean that you shouldn’t sacrifice your own well-being for his.
Make time for the things you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to pursue your interests. A happy wife is a better wife, so take care of yourself first and foremost.
2. Be your husband’s confidante
Your husband should be able to tell you anything and know that it will go no further. He should feel confident that you will not judge him, lecture him, or try to fix his problems.
Just listen and offer understanding and support.
3. Be your husband’s best friend
A good wife enjoys spending time with her husband and is interested in his hobbies and activities. Hang out like best friends.
Take an active interest in your husband’s hobbies or the things he enjoys – even if you don’t share his passion for them. Better yet, start a new hobby together.
When you share hobbies, you spend time together.
Happy couples have shared hobbies. They can share stories, experiences, and memories they will never forget. These activities also help build deeper intimacy in a relationship.
4. Be your husband’s lover
A good wife is also a good lover and is passionate and affectionate with her husband.
Sex is essential to a healthy marriage, and both husband and wife should be satisfied with their sex life.
Make time for undivided attention, where you and your person can be together without distractions.
Typically the first step to better sex is communicating with your husband about what you enjoy.
Date Night Workbook is a hands-on guide to checking in with your partner, growing closer through shared experiences, and creating goals for a thriving relationship.
5. Communicate openly and often with your partner
Good communication is essential – and that’s especially true for marriages. So if you want to be a better wife, make an effort to talk openly and honestly with your husband. He can not be a mind reader.
Share how you feel, even when it’s difficult, and listen to what he has to say.
Learning how to be a better wife requires talking to your partner often and openly.
This means you can share how you feel and what you’re thinking with them. But, of course, it also helps if you listen to what they say.
Active listening
Listening to your husband’s advice shows him that you value his opinion and respect him. It also means being willing to make compromises when necessary.
It can help your connection with your husband to admit mistakes by showing that you’re humble and open to change. In addition, admitting mistakes shows that you’re willing to work on yourself. It also allows you to learn from your mistakes and grow.
If you’re having difficulty resolving conflicts constructively, it might be helpful to attend online couples counseling.
Seeking help from a therapist or counselor, if needed, is an excellent way to work on your marriage constructively.
6. Be physically affectionate with your partner
Physical affection is an essential component of marriage.
To be a better wife, show your partner how much you care through physical touch.
This could mean hugging, kissing, holding hands, or focusing more on your sex life.
7. Work on building trust and intimacy
Trust and intimacy are key ingredients for happy and healthy relationships. Work on building intimacy with your husband.
Practice intimacy-building exercises together that help you connect on a deeper level.
Consider picking up the Intimacy Deck to create more intimacy in your marriage.
8. Build trust and intimacy through small gestures
One way to build trust and intimacy with your husband is to do small things that show you care.
This could mean cooking their favorite meal, buying them a small gift, or just doing something that makes his day a little easier.
These thoughtful gestures can go a long way in strengthening your marriage.
9. Be patient and understanding with yourself and your husband
Be understanding.
One important key to being a good wife is to be understanding. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything your husband says or does, but it does mean that you should try to see things from his perspective.
If you can understand where he’s coming from, it will be easier to resolve disagreements and build a stronger bond.
Building a strong marriage takes time and patience. If you want to know how to be a better wife, ensure you are willing to do the work.
This means understanding when your spouse makes a mistake, being patient when things get tough, and being there for him through thick and thin.
Be patient and understanding with yourself first.
You’ll make mistakes too, and that’s okay. Work to accept your flaws.
Remember, no one is perfect – including you!
So cut yourself and your spouse some slack by focusing on the positive aspects of your marriage.
10. Focus on the positive
When trying to be a good partner, be mindful of the positive aspects of your marriage. In other words, take time to appreciate what your husband does well instead of dwelling on his shortcomings.
Also, focusing on what’s working can be a fantastic way to navigate conflicts and difficulties.
Research shows that the key to a happy and lasting relationship is the ratio of positive to negative interactions between partners. The ideal ratio is 5 to 1, which means that for every negative interaction (such as an argument or criticism), there should be five positive ones (such as affectionate gestures or words of appreciation).
This ratio may seem challenging to achieve, but it is crucial to remember that even small acts of kindness can make a big difference. In fact, the happiest relationships are those in which partners regularly express their love and appreciation for one another.
So next time you’re feeling frustrated with your partner, take a moment to remember the 5 to 1 ratio and try to turn the situation around with a kind word or gesture. It might just make all the difference.
11. Work on being the best version of yourself
If you want to be a good partner, work on being the best version of yourself. In other words, take care of yourself physically and emotionally, set boundaries, and do things that make you happy.
It also means being honest with your husband about your needs and wants.
Living a healthy lifestyle can help your overall well-being.
When you’re the best version of yourself, you’ll be able to give your partnership the attention and care it deserves.
Being the best version of yourself doesn’t happen via extreme self-control. It can mean practicing self-respect and care. Self-love could mean little things like spending time with your friends or doing creative activities that matter to you.
12. Seek help when needed
If you’re struggling to be a better wife, don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional.
This could mean meeting with a therapist or counselor, attending a support group, or reading self-help books. Whatever you do, ensure you get the help you want to be the best wife possible.
Looking for a family therapist or licensed marriage counselor?
A family therapist can help you and your spouse work through your issues, but a marriage coach can do much more.
A couples coach can help you build a stronger and healthier marriage. They can provide the education, tools, and advice you need to succeed and help you healthily resolve conflicts.
They can also help you stay accountable and on track, especially if you’re struggling together.
If you’re looking for help in your marriage, book a complimentary couples consult. Then, we can help you have the happy and healthy marriage you deserve.
Consider working with an online relationship coach. Book complimentary couples consult.
13. Spend quality time together
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to spend quality time together regularly. This means making time for each other, even when life gets busy.
It could mean going on a date night, taking walks together, or just spending time talking. Whatever you do, make sure you are investing in a happy marriage so that it can continue to grow and thrive.
14. Be honest
Let your husband know how you’re feeling, both good and bad.
Tell him when you’re happy. Share your thoughts and feelings about difficult topics. Also, be transparent about what’s going on in your internal life.
Communicate your needs.
Another way to be honest with your husband is to communicate your needs. This could mean telling them what you want or asking for his help when you feel overwhelmed.
When you communicate openly and honestly, it builds trust and intimacy between you and your husband.
15. Be supportive of his goals and dreams
A good wife is supportive of her husband’s dreams and goals. She encourages him to pursue his passions and stands by him through the ups and downs. If you want to be a better wife, make an effort to support your husband’s dreams and goals.
This means helping them out when they need it, cheering them on, and being there for them when they succeed or fail.
Supporting your husband strengthens your bond and encourages him to keep reaching for his dreams.
16. Showcase your strengths
Every relationship is unique, so focusing on your own strengths as a woman is important. For example, maybe you’re great at fixing things or gardening or have a knack for always knowing what to say.
Whatever your strengths, make sure you put them front and center in your married life.
Look for opportunities to bring your gifts to your relationship and offer your strengths to your marriage.
17. Make time for romance and fun
Just like your family needs time together, so does your relationship. So make time for romance and fun, and schedule a regular date night. A date night is time for you and your person – without the rest of the family. This could mean going out for dinner, seeing a movie, or simply spending time together.
Another way, make time for fun activities that you both enjoy. This could mean going for hikes, playing games, or taking trips together.
When you make time for romance and fun, it helps to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
18. Take care of you – A happy wife makes a happy husband
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. This means making time for yourself, spending time with supportive friends, setting boundaries, and doing things that make you happy.
When taking care of yourself, you’ll be better positioned to give your relationship the attention it deserves.
19. Resolve conflicts in a constructive way
If you’re having difficulty resolving conflicts constructively, it might be helpful to attend couples counseling.
This can help you learn how to communicate with your husband effectively, handle difficult emotions, and resolve conflicts healthily.
When you and your husband can resolve conflicts constructively, it can help to strengthen your relationship.
20. Show appreciation for your husband often
One simple way to be a better wife is to show appreciation for your husband often.
This could mean thanking him for things he does, complimenting him on his accomplishments, or simply telling him how much you appreciate him.
When you express gratitude for your partner, it makes them feel loved and appreciated.
Pick up the Appreciation Game as a way to feel closer with gratitude.
21. Seek help from a therapist or counselor if needed
If you need help to be a better wife, seek professional assistance. This could mean meeting with a therapist or online marriage counselor, attending a support group, taking classes, or reading marriage books.
By getting the help you need, you’ll be able to work on your marriage more constructively.
How to be a better wife and improve your marriage
Becoming a better wife starts with the desire to improve your relationship. From there, build trust and intimacy, fuel attraction and passion, pursue your happiness, and support your husband’s dreams and goals.
And don’t forget to express your love for him often. You can be the wife he’s always wanted with time and effort.
Take regular action
Being a better wife starts with wanting to be one. Then, by taking regular action on the principles and actions outlined here, you’ll become more attractive, connected, and in touch with your husband.
Building a strong and healthy marriage takes time, effort, and commitment. However, having a happy and thriving marriage is worth it. By following the tips above, you can be well on your way to being a better wife.
Being a good wife means being good to yourself too
Becoming a great spouse isn’t a said-and-done thing, so we suggest you take one simple action today.
Be gentle with yourself in this process. If you want to be a better wife, try implementing some of these tips into your daily routine.
Showing appreciation for your husband often, being honest and transparent with them, and making time for romance and fun are all excellent ways to strengthen your relationship.
For an interactive guide to building a fulfilling partnership, join the Intimacy Workshop.
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