How To Be A Better Lover To Your Spouse

Learning how to be a better lover takes communication and presence. Perhaps you’re here because looking for some quick sexy tips. However, deeper skills such as communication and being present with your partner are essential to being an amazing lover. 

Most importantly, great sex begins with intimacy. In this article, I will outline intimate ideas for how to be a good lover to your partner. 

What is a Characteristic of a Good Lover?

A good lover is someone passionate and attentive. They are someone who can make their partner feel desired and special. A good lover is also patient and understanding, as lovemaking can be complicated. Finally, a great lover is willing to learn and grow with their partner, as lovemaking is a journey, not a destination.  Lastly, good lovers are comfortable with themselves and their bodies, allowing them to be more present and in the moment. Now let’s explore how both partners can be better lovers. 

How to Be Better in Bed?

How to Be Better in Bed? Being a good lover requires communication, patience, and understanding. In other words, communicate your needs and desires, and practice paying attention to your partner to understand their needs and desires.  With these skills, you can create a mutually fulfilling relationship that is physically and emotionally satisfying. Further, remember you don’t have to be an amazing lover for your partner to love and appreciate you. It’s just important that you try to give of yourself, and you will be the best lover you can be. Lastly, good lovers can let go of their egos and put their partner’s needs first.

How to be a Better Lover to My Wife?

Maybe you have felt like your wife lacks sexual desire lately, and you’re wondering how you can reignite the attraction and passion again.

To be a better lover to your wife, you must first understand what she desires most from you. What are her love language needs? 

Does she need more physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, or gifts? Once you know what love language she speaks, you can begin to intentionally love her in the way she needs to feel loved.

A good relationship with your partner is key to a happy and fulfilling life. However, if you are not satisfied with your current relationship, there are intimacy exercises you can practice to help improve the connection between you and your wife. 

Here are some specific things you can do to learn how to better in bed:

1. Open up and talk.

Talk to your wife about your wants and needs. Listen to her with curiosity. Creating a safe and open space for her feelings will give room for emotional intimacy (which is often required for most women to have great sexual intimacy.)

In short, listen to her, ask follow-up questions, and hear what she says. This connection will deepen your relationship and make you a better lover to your wife.

2. Be present. 

Being present with your wife and fully engaged when you are together is essential. Put away your phone and give her your undivided attention. Quality time is vital in any relationship. Spend time with your wife doing things you both enjoy. 

In the bedroom, pay attention to her subtle responses. Be in tune with the sounds she makes, the way her body moves, and how she’s breathing. These responses are indicators of what she’s enjoying and what she’s not. 

3. Show affection. 

Physical touch is essential in a loving relationship. To illustrate, show your wife how much you care with simple touches and hugs. Incorporating more non-sexual touch into your relationship can help her relax, knowing that not all touch has to lead to sex. 

Physical touch, such as massage, can help open her body and be more receptive to you sexually. 

4. Be supportive and patient. 

Be there for your wife when she needs you. Offer words of encouragement and understanding.

Her turn-on will probably take longer than yours, so be patient with her as she opens to emotional, physical, and sexual turn-on. 

5. Allow plenty of time for foreplay. 

Women typically need more time for foreplay than men do. Therefore, ensure you leave plenty of time for intimacy and at least 30 minutes of foreplay. 

6. Learn her anatomy.

There are not a lot of great examples of how to please a woman. We’re not taught in school how a woman’s turn-on works. Further, pornography sets up unrealistic expectations. So unless your wife has given you a complete lesson on her anatomy, there is a good chance you’re missing out on some orgasmic potential. 

7. Plan ahead. 

It can help to schedule time for date nights and intimacy. If your spouse wants to preen herself or prep for making love, she has time to do that. 

By following these tips, you can become a fantastic lover to your wife and learn how to be the best in bed that you can be.

Related Reading: 11 Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – How To Win Her Affection

How to be a Better Lover to My Husband?

Date Night Relationship Workbook For Couples

Do you ever feel like your husband isn’t attracted to you? Sometimes, it’s not so much a matter of a waning physical attraction as it is a lack of emotional intimacy.

If you are wondering how to be a better partner, there are many sexual and non-sexual ways you can accomplish this.

Pick up the Relationship Workbook for a hands-on guide to cultivating more passion and intimacy in your marriage.

1. Make time for him.

In today’s busy world, letting your relationship take a backseat to work and other obligations is easy. But it’s important to have quality time with your husband and to let him know that he is a priority in your life. Making time for each other fuels attraction and desire in your relationship.

2. Show him physical affection.

This can be anything from a hug to a kiss to sex. Physical affection is a great way to show your husband you love and care for him.

3. Tell him what you love about him. 

Whether it’s his sense of humor or how he loves you, take a moment to let your husband know what you appreciate about him. 

4. Be present and attentive. 

This means being present mentally and emotionally as well as physically. Listen to your husband when he talks, look at him when you’re talking, and fully engage in whatever activity you’re doing together.

5.  Communicate. 

Talk about what you like and don’t like, what you want to try, and what your boundaries are. Good marriage communication will make sex better for both of you.

6. Be creative.

 Try new things, experiment, and be open to your husband’s suggestions. Keeping things fresh will keep both of you excited about sex.

7. Practice self-care. 

Take time for self-care. When you feel nourished and good in your body, it’s easier to access your sexual vibrancy. 

How to Teach Your Partner to be a Better Lover?

If you’re not satisfied with your sex life, it may be time to take matters into your own hands and teach your partner how to be a good lover. It may seem daunting, but it’s not that difficult. Most importantly, it can make a world of difference in your relationship.

Here are a few tips on how to teach your partner how to be great in bed:

Be clear about what you want. 

Communicate with your partner about what feels good to you and what you don’t like. Don’t assume they can read your mind. In other words, be clear. Make sure to guide them. Make suggestions. Use your moans and sounds to express what you like. And give verbal cues.

Be patient. 

It may take time for your partner to learn what you like before you can have outstanding sex.

Be positive. 

Give encouragement and feedback about what your partner is doing right.

Be open to trying new things. 

You may be surprised by what you like. Undoubtedly, the best sex comes from variety and experimentation.

Be honest. 

If something isn’t working, don’t be afraid to speak up. It is important to remember that good sex isn’t just about technique. 

While it is important to have a good sexual experience and technique, it is also essential to be able to communicate with your partner, be present with them, and understand their needs.

Get support for how to be a better lover

Get more tips on how to be a better lover in the Intimacy Workshop For Couples

Intimacy Workshop For Couples Course

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get The Save Your Marriage Course

Save Your Marriage Course

Lasting Love Connection Relationship Workbook

Date Night Ideas, Relationship Goals, and Bucket Lists for Couples
Best Relationship Workbook For Couples
Kamala and Luis

About Luis Congdon & Kamala Chambers

Lasting Love Connection offers top-ranked couples counseling services. Luis Congdon and Kamala Chambers are co-founders and co-authors of all that Lasting Love Connection offers. They have worked with thousands of couples nationwide via dynamic video coaching sessions and have features in Huffington Post, Inc Magazine, TEDx, Forbes, and Chicago Tribune.

Frequently Asked Questions

Save Your Marriage Workbook For Couples

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest