Do you or your partner have a physical touch love language?
Physical touch is an essential part of intimacy. Whether it’s a back scratch, hug, foot massage, or kisses, physical touch helps communicate love.
When you don’t physically connect, it can signify that you’re emotionally disconnected. In fact, physical touch is often one of the first things to go when romantic relationships start to deteriorate.
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Intimate touch as a primary love language
For some people, physical touch is how they feel most loved. This means they feel cherished when their partner gives physical touches.
If physical touch is how you feel connected, communicate this to your partner.
If you’re unsure how to start the conversation, consider talking to a relationship coach. They can help you express your needs, lead you in marriage intimacy exercises, and provide guidance on maintaining a strong connection.
What is physical touch love language?
Touch is one of the most basic expressions of love, whether it’s a gentle embrace, a passionate kiss, or simply holding hands.
But for some people, physical touch is their love language. Meaning they feel most loved when physically held or touched.
What does physical touch love language mean?
Consider how you express love or how you like to receive love from others.
Dr. Gary Chapman originally developed the idea of the 5 love languages to help couples better understand each other’s needs. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages:
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- gift giving
- acts of service
- physical touch
For some people, physical touch is their primary love language. They feel appreciated when their partners show them physical closeness.
For people with this love language, even small gestures can make a big difference in how they feel. Hand-holding, for example, is a simple but powerful way to show support and fondness for someone.
If you’re unsure whether physical touch is your partner’s love style, it can be helpful to ask them how they like to be loved and what makes them feel appreciated. By understanding your partner’s needs, you can show them the affection they need to feel loved and secure.
What are the love language types?
Everyone experiences and expresses love differently. That’s why learning to speak your partner’s love language is essential. Speaking each other’s love languages in the preferred way bonds you together.
There are five primary love languages, each with a distinct set of behaviors. Learning others’ love languages can deepen their overall happiness. Here are the five love languages:
Words of Affirmation
Affirmations are crucial for some people. If this is how you feel loved, you need to hear positive encouragement from your partner regularly. Whether it’s telling you that you’re beautiful or simply saying “thank you” for things you do, affirmations help you feel secure in your relationships.
Gestures like saying, “I love you,” writing heartfelt notes, or leaving sweet voice messages all fall under the category. If this is your partner’s love style, how you talk to them is how they feel love.
Quality Time
If your partner’s love style is spending time together, they will feel most loved when you make time for them without distractions. This means turning off your phone, putting away work, and being present in the moment. Being in the same room isn’t enough – you must be fully engaged.
Uninterrupted time together is the most significant way to feel loved. They crave one-on-one time with their partner without distractions.
Receiving Gifts
Some people feel most loved when they receive gifts from their partner. This doesn’t necessarily mean expensive gifts.
Even a simple present can mean the world to someone whose love language is gifting. The key is that the gift is chosen thoughtfully.
Acts of Service
Others might feel most loved when their partner engages in acts of service. If this is your love language, you appreciate it when your partner takes care of household chores or runs errands for you.
If your partner’s primary love language is acts of service, the preferred to love is through doing things for them – both big and small. This could mean cooking dinner, taking care of the yard work, or running errands for them. Whatever it is, it’s the action that counts.
Physical Touch
For some people, physical touch is the most important way to feel loved. This might manifest itself in hugs, cuddles, public displays of affection, or sex.
If physical touch is your love language, you likely feel the most connected to your partner during physical intimacy.
If this is your partner’s primary love language, then physical touch is how they feel most connected to you.
What is your love language?
Everyone expresses and receives love differently, so it’s crucial to discover your love language and the languages of your loved ones.
Examine the love styles to see which resonates most with you. (Hint, you can have more than one.)
Discovering your love language can help you feel more connected to your partner and understand how they express their love for you.
How to love someone whose love language is physical touch?
If you have a physical touch love language, it’s essential to find ways to express your love in this way.
Your physical gestures don’t have to be flashy – even putting your arm around their shoulder can mean the world to someone who feels cherished when they receive physical affection.
If you’re unsure how to show love to someone who likes physical touch, try asking your partner what would make them feel adored. Speaking their love language can deepen your connection and create more meaningful relationships.
If you’re not a physically affectionate person, but your partner is, try to give more physical touch.
This doesn’t mean you have to be all over them all the time, but try to be a good hugger, initiate passionate kisses, and make more time for foreplay and sex.
What can go wrong if your partner’s love language is touch?
Physical touch as a love style can also be a source of conflict. If one partner’s love style is physical touch and the other’s is not, it can be challenging to find a middle ground.
The key to loving someone whose love language is physical touch is to find ways to physicalize your love that are comfortable for both of you.
This might mean making time for sex instead of going out for a night on the town. It might also mean being more affectionate in private and in public.
Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance that works for both of you. You can build a stronger, more loving relationship by showing your partner that you care about their needs.
How do you express love physically in a long-distance relationship?
A physical touch love language is especially challenging for long-distance relationships.
If you’re wondering how to be intimate without touching, things like a weighted blanket and a body pillow can be helpful while in a long-distance relationship. Also, video calls describing how you want to touch them can help.
Other ways to meet touch needs that are less conventional are getting massages or cuddling with friends. However, sharing non intimate touch with a friend should be discussed ahead of time with your partner, staying within the agreements of the relationship.
How to fulfill physical touch love language?
If you’re wondering how to express your love through physical touch, it’s vital to understand your partner’s love language first.
Everyone expresses and receives love differently, and it’s crucial to find a way to communicate in a way that will be meaningful for your partner. If your partner’s love language is physical touch, you can do a few things to show your love in a way that will be genuinely appreciated.
Sexual cuddles, gentle massages, and holding hands can be incredibly intimate if their love language is physical touch.
If you’re unsure how to satisfy physical touch love language for him or her, ask them what they would like. Taking the time to connect physically will mean the world to someone whose love language is physical touch.
Ways to show someone love who has a physical touch love language
Sometimes it can be hard to show loved ones how much you care, especially if your spouse’s love language is physical touch. Here are some love language touch ideas and specific examples of physical expressions that can speak volumes to your love.
Physical touch love language ideas
There are many different ways to show affection to your partner through physical touch.
1. Plan special date nights that involve physical activities, like hiking or biking.
2. Make a point to cuddle up on the couch together every night while you talk about your day.
3. Give them long hugs when you see them.
4. Hold hands whenever possible.
5. Give massage exchanges.
6. Put as much effort into foreplay as you do into sex.
7. Prioritize having more sex and being a better lover.
8. Take a dance class together, go out dancing often, or slow dance in the kitchen when romantic music comes on.
9. Encourage physical affection from your kids or pets too!
10. Do yard work or house projects together so you can be close while you work.
11. Try to find new ways to make their body feel good.
12. Reach out for kisses every day.
13. Go on an adventurous vacation together, where you can explore new places and physical activities side-by-side.
14. Schedule time each week so you can have regular alone time together doing something you both enjoy.
15. Get them massages regularly.
16. Do something physical for them that they would typically have to do themselves, like washing the car or mowing the lawn.
17. Touch them when they walk past you.
Why is physical touch my love language?
Why? Because physical touch is your way of showing your partner that you love them. Touch is a way to feel close and bond. It’s also a way to reduce stress and anxiety.
With a bit of self reflection, you can explore what you need from your partner, so you feel the most loved. To you, being affectionate may seem self explanatory, but not everyone feels loved through physical connection.
Perhaps your partner prefers love languages, like how you speak to them or what you do for them.
Explore what other forms of physical contact will help you feel cared for. Is it a daily hug, kiss, or shoulder rub? Do you like when your partner puts their hand on your leg?
If you don’t have the same love language as your partner, you may need to be specific about your needs.
Asking for more physical touch
Many couples don’t know how to deal with physical touch love language so both partners feel comfortable and have their needs met.
It can be challenging to broach the topic without making your partner feel pressured or uncomfortable. The key is to approach the conversation with warmth and empathy. Start by expressing your need for physical affection, and then ask if your partner would be interested in exploring ways to add more physical intimacy to your relationship.
If they are open to the idea, brainstorm a list of activities you’ll enjoy. This could include anything from a head rub to exploring each other’s bodies during sex.
By approaching the topic respectfully and sensitively, you can help make physical intimacy a positive and enjoyable experience for both partners.
Intimate touch is essential for all committed relationships
If you love someone, it’s essential to show them physically. Even if you’re not a very “touchy-feely” person, expressing your love through non-sexual physical affection can make a big difference.
It means saying, “I’m here for you.”
It’s a common misconception that touch needs to lead to sex. However, when you’re physically affectionate without an agenda for sex, it can help deepen intimacy.
Yes, sex is important, but so is non agenda touch. Physical contact can feel very nourishing, but not when you’re only being touched when someone wants sex from you.
Non-sexual physical affection can range from making eye contact while holding hands to simply giving a gentle touch on the arm when you pass by.
It’s all about finding ways to be physically close to the one you love in a non-sexual way. When we are physically close to someone we care about, it releases certain hormones, like oxytocin, sometimes called the “cuddle hormone” or the “love hormone.” Oxytocin can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and boost immunity.
Essentially, physically expressing your love for someone at the end of a stressful day can benefit both of you.
Keep exploring with your partner how you can deepen intimacy and connection. Pick up the couples card games.
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