Is affair recovery even possible?
An affair can be a traumatic experience, not just for the person cheated on but for the unfaithful spouse. Unfortunately, you’re not alone if you’re struggling to deal with extramarital affairs.
There is hope, whether your marriage has struggled with an emotional affair or sexual affair. Affair recovery is possible, but it takes time, patience, and commitment. Many people trying to mend after an affair feel lost and alone.
The good news is that there are ways to heal from an affair, put your marriage back together, and move forward together.
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What Is Reasonable To Expect From A Cheating Spouse In Affair Recovery?
Recovery from your spouse having an affair is different for everyone. Predicting how a cheating spouse will react when confronted with an affair is difficult. Some spouses are immediately repentant and are willing to do whatever it takes to make things right.
Other spouses deny the affair and are unwilling to cooperate in any way. Many spouses fall somewhere in between. If you want to repair the broken trust, you may wonder what is reasonable to expect from a cheating spouse.
Can you trust your wife again? Is my husband even attracted to me anymore? Will my spouse be able to remain faithful in the future?
There is no easy answer to these questions, as every situation is unique. However, some general guidelines can help you gauge what you can reasonably expect from your cheating spouse during recovery from an affair betrayal.
How To Fix A Relationship After Cheating – Stages of Affair Recovery
Following the steps of Infidelity recovery is essential to rebuild trust in the relationship.
1. Openly share about the affair
The wife or husband who cheated should be willing to openly and honestly communicate about the affair. They also may be willing to share details about what happened, why, and how they feel about it.
2. Create emotional safety
When someone is cheated on, they need to know there is space for their emotions to feel safe in the relationship again. Sharing and listening from an open, loving space (window of tolerance) is crucial for emotional safety.
3. Listen and understand the impact
The person who cheated needs to be willing to put their defenses aside and listen to the impact of their actions. Putting down defenses means listening to the feelings of the person they cheated on with a loving presence until they feel fully understood and heard.
4. Take responsibility
The cheating spouse should be willing to take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences.
5. Rebuild trust
The person who cheated must fully commit to rebuilding trust in the relationship.
Moving forward together requires time, patience, and hard work. But if you both commit to the process, you can recover from an affair and come out closer than before.
How To Heal After Being Cheated On
It might be a long road to trusting your partner if someone cheated on you. However, you can take steps to find healing within and ease the pain of infidelity.
1. Go easy on yourself
How to get over being cheated on can be a long process. Give yourself time and space to feel your feelings and be gentle with yourself. Being cheated can be painful. Most importantly, allow healing to happen at your own pace.
2. Express how you feel
Bottling up your feelings around infidelity will only lead to more resentment. Find healthy ways to share your feelings and express the affair’s impact on you.
3. Take care of you
Knowing how to get over someone cheating on you is about how you take care of yourself. Self-care, talking to people you trust, leaning on your support system, and feeling good about yourself can help your recovery.
4. Break away from blame
Being cheated on might lead you to blame your partner and yourself. When I was cheated on in a past relationship, I learned that blame is a toxin that eats away at happiness. In breaking out of the blame cycle, it’s essential to look at the underlying issues that may have led to the infidelity in the first place.
5. Find forgiveness
Forgiveness is essential to affair recovery. Although it may seem impossible, if you can find forgiveness, it can, at the very least, ease the pain you feel. If you can, remember the love you had a the beginning of the relationship. Instead of seeing your partner as someone trying to hurt you, see that they made a terrible mistake.
You might be wondering should you walk away from your relationship because of infidelity. More than repairing your relationship, mending the pain you feel from the affair is the most critical place to start.
What Is The Best Type Of Counselor For Affair Recovery?
If you are considering seeking affair recovery counseling to heal from the pain of an affair, you may be wondering what type of counselor is best for affair recovery? Unfortunately, while there are many different types of counselors and therapists, not all are equally well suited to helping people heal from infidelity.
Some couples therapy counselors may have limited experience with affair recovery or may not understand the unique challenges of healing from this type of betrayal. In addition, some marriage counseling may lack the empathy and compassion to help you through this difficult time.
Here are some things to look for in a counselor for affair recovery:
- Someone who has experience in helping people heal from infidelity.
- Someone who can offer empathy and understanding.
- A marriage coach with whom you feel comfortable.
- Someone you can trust.
- Someone who can give you honest feedback.
Furthermore, if you’re considering seeing a counselor for affair recovery, ask about their experience with this issue and how they plan to help you heal.
Book a complimentary couple’s consult with an affair recovery expert.
Recovery From An Affair – How Long Does It Take?
No one can definitively answer how long it will take to recover from an affair. The length of time it takes to heal depends on many factors, including the nature of the affair, the strength of your relationship, and your coping mechanisms.
However, some general principles can help you gauge how long recovering from an affair might take. It also depends on the severity of the betrayal, the willingness of both partners to work on the relationship, and the support of family and friends. The healing process can be further complicated by whether there was a physical affair or an emotional affair.
Of course, some couples can recover more quickly than others. And in some cases, the process of recovery can take longer than two years. But in general, affair recovery is a long and challenging process that requires time, patience, and hard work.
In some cases, couples can overcome an affair and even become stronger. However, in other cases, the affair may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, and the relationship may not recover.
If you are struggling to recover from an affair, it is crucial to seek help from a qualified couple’s coach or counselor.
With time and effort, you and your partner can work through the challenges and fix your broken relationship.
However, it takes a significant amount of time to recover from the hurt and feelings of betrayal.
The process of rebuilding trust and intimacy can take months or even years. In short, the best way to speed up the process is to seek counseling and to be honest with your partner about your feelings and needs.
What percentage of marriages recover from an affair?
There is no definitive answer to this question as it varies from marriage to marriage. Some marriages can survive and even thrive after an affair, while others crumble. It all depends on the situation and the individuals involved. However, studies have shown that the percentage of marriages that survive an affair is around 30% – 50%, meaning four out of every ten marriages do not make it after an affair.
If you face this situation in your marriage, know that you are not alone. Many couples have gone through the same thing and come out on the other side.
How Long Does Affair Recovery Take?
While every situation is unique, some general patterns emerge regarding affair recovery. First, in most cases, it may take a minimum of two years to recover from an affair fully. It takes this long because it takes time to rebuild trust, repair the damage to the relationship, and heal the emotional wounds caused by infidelity in marriage.
What Does Recovery From A Spouse’s Affair Look Like?
Recovering from a spouse’s affair can be long and difficult. It can be challenging to rebuild trust and repair the damage caused by the betrayal. But it is possible to recover from this the betrayal of cheating. The first step is to understand what happened and why. Once you better understand what led to the affair, you can rebuild trust. Building trust may take time, but creating a new foundation is possible.
If you are willing to do the work, you can recover from a spouse’s affair. Most importantly, you can rebuild your relationship and create a new future together with time, patience, and understanding.
In conclusion, affair recovery takes time, patience, and commitment. There are no shortcuts to affair recovery, and it is essential to be realistic about the time it will take to heal. Some common themes include rebuilding trust, communicating effectively, self-care, prioritizing your mental health and well-being, and forgiving yourself and your partner.
Get the Save Your Marriage Workbook to help rebuild trust and heal the damage of an affair.
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