Have you heard of the Gottman Relationship Checkup?
It’s a helpful tool that assists you in evaluating your relationship’s strengths and challenges and creating a more fulfilling relationship.
In this article, we will dive into the scientific research that influenced the development of the Gottman Relationship Checkup and explore how it can be utilized to enhance your relationship.
Table of Contents
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough relationship assessment and evidence-based interventions for creating a thriving partnership.
Dr. John Gottman, a clinical psychologist, is one of the world’s leading researchers on couple relationships and has been recognized as one of the most influential therapists of our time.
His wife, Julie Gottman, is also a clinical psychologist and relationship researcher.
Based on evidence-based information on what makes relationships succeed, Drs. John Gottman and Julie Gottman developed the Sound Relationship House Theory, which provides a framework for building and maintaining healthy relationships.
John and Julie Gottman developed the Sound Relationship House Theory
Dr. John Gottman and Julie Gottman created the Sound Relationship House Theory, which outlines the elements necessary to establish and maintain a strong and healthy relationship.
The “levels” of The Sound Relationship House include
- Love maps: developing an in-depth understanding of each other’s inner world.
- Fondness and admiration: expressing gratitude for each other’s contributions.
- Turning towards: being open and responsive to each other’s bids for connection and fulfilling each other’s needs.
- Positive perspective: looking for the best in your partner and giving them the benefit of the doubt instead of criticizing or becoming defensive.
- Manage conflict: using healthy conflict resolution skills such as understanding your partner’s feelings and perspective and taking a break to self-soothe when conversations get heated.
- Making your dreams come true: supporting each other in achieving your goals and dreams for the future.
- Shared meaning: engaging in activities/rituals and setting couples goals that give you a sense of purpose and connectedness.
Moreover, mutual trust and commitment are the walls that form the foundation of healthy relationships.
What is the Gottman Relationship Checkup?
Dr. John and Julie Gottman developed the Gottman Relationship Checkup based on their Sound House Relationship Theory. This relationship assessment tool is grounded in decades of scientific research at the Gottman Institute. It helps married and engaged couples identify both strengths and challenges in their relationship.
Clinical professionals working with couples extensively use this research-based assessment tool. This time-saving resource offers in-depth insights into a relationship and areas that need improvement. Based on the answers and the analysis, clinicians can chart an effective course of therapy and personalized treatment plan that caters to the unique needs of the particular couple.
As of 2021, the Gottman Relationship Checkup was updated and named Gottman Connect. The Gottman Institute has more information about their enhanced Relationship Checkup or becoming an approved Gottman Connect provider.
What questions are included in the Gottman Relationship Checkup?
The online questionnaire covers different aspects of a relationship, such as communication, friendship, managing emotions and conflict, intimacy, shared values, and trust. Additionally, the assessment includes questions about parenting, housework, goals for the future, money, and other areas of concern. The assessment is designed to be user-friendly and ensures the privacy and security of your data.
How to do a relationship checkup?
To do a relationship checkup, each partner completes the online questionnaire independently. You and your partner should take the enhanced relationship checkup to make you feel comfortable answering the questionnaire more freely and honestly. The assessment helps couples identify the areas they need to work on to create a stronger relationship.
What are the 4 stages of Gottman?
The four defenses are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. When these communication habits are present during a conflict, it increases emotional distance and disconnection in a relationship. Therefore, replacing toxic behaviors (Four Horsemen) with healthy habits is crucial to ensure long-lasting love.
Take a free relationship checkup
Here is a condensed free version of the Gottman check up. This questionnaire consists of similar research-based developed questions.
You and your partner can independently take the relationship checkup, which scores a relationship’s strengths and challenges.
Completing the online assessment will typically take around 3 minutes. However, the actual time may vary depending on your individual responses and relationship dynamics.
When you complete the relationship checkup, you’ll get specific recommendations on individual areas of concern.
Get your relationship checkup result today – Take the relationship checkup for free
How to get the most out of the relationship checkup
Step one: Take the relationship checkup and encourage your partner to take it.
Step two: Review the couples report and recommendations for your relationship.
And Step three: Bring your score to a marriage counseling session or a free couples consult, and we’ll review your results with you.
What happens after you take the relationship assessment tool?
After submitting your and your partner’s questionnaires, the system automatically scores the assessment.
The automatic scoring feature saves you or your couples coach from having to hand-score the Gottman assessments. The relationship assessment tool scores a relationship’s strengths and offers helpful recommendations for you and your partner.
Then, you will receive an email containing your couples report and resources for enhancing your relationship.
The assessment can uncover new information about how you and your partner feel about the relationship and your emotional experience while interacting.
These personalized feedback reports provide an in-depth look into how you navigate different aspects of your life together.
For instance, the assessment assesses how you manage emotions, conflict, intimacy, and finances.
The system includes suggested treatment options for a particular couple.
Clinical professionals and couples coaches use the detailed report to plan an effective course of therapy and treatment plan that precisely focuses on your unique needs.
The Gottman Relationship Checkup improves your relationship
The Gottman Connect Relationship Checkup is a valuable tool that provides essential information about your relationship’s strengths and challenges.
This time-saving resource offers insight into your and your partner’s current relationship experience and identifies areas that need improvement to create a healthier partnership.
Once you complete the first relationship checkup, you can take steps to address those specific areas.
For example, if you lack intimacy, you can look into marriage intimacy exercises, take an online marriage course, or try couples therapy or coaching.
Or, if you bottle up concerns in your relationship to avoid conflict, you might try to have more regular relationship check-ins and communicate more openly about your feelings and needs.
If you crave more passion and presence in your relationship, join the Intimacy Workshop.
Seek support to move toward the fulfilling partnership you desire
It’s normal for you and your partner to have areas that need improvement in your relationship.
However, you don’t have to face these issues alone.
Couples therapy or coaching provides a safe space to discuss sensitive topics and resolve ongoing tension or disconnection.
Moreover, a couples therapist or coach will help you develop new skills to create the loving relationship you long for.
Book a complimentary couples consultation to see if working with us would be a good fit.
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