Intimacy Counseling: How To Find It & What To Expect

If your relationship isn’t experiencing the intimacy, sex, and connection you’d like – it’s time to consider intimacy counseling. 

Unlike other forms of counseling, intimacy counseling is about bridging the gaps between intimacy, connection, and sex. 

What Is Intimacy Counseling 

In sex therapy or intimacy counseling, you’ll be able to talk with a counselor about issues relating to sex and intimacy. 

Singles and couples who come to me for intimacy counseling create an opportunity to talk about:

• Sexual dysfunctions (here’s a list of various sexual dysfunctions)
• Roadblocks and hindrances to connection 
• Trust: rebuilding trust, trust issues, and infidelity issues
• Intimacy problems that inhibit mutual pleasure 
• The different kinds of intimacy and how to move beyond a ‘sex-focused’ connection. 
• How to create mutual pleasure for both partners 
• Premature ejaculation
• Sexual traumas (past rape, molestation, or anything else related to sexual traumas) 
• What is a sexless marriage and how to resolve it 
• How to communicate better in the bedroom 
• Intimacy vs. sex and why the difference matters 
• Lack of sexual desire
• Touch, communication, and other forms of intimacy 
• Your wife doesn’t desire you, or your husband seems not to be attracted to you 

When we work with couples on intimacy counseling, we generally talk about what’s causing them to miss out on a deep connection. 

Sometimes the issues are specifically related to sex, and other times the intimacy issues are about communication breakdowns and misunderstandings on how to create an intimate connection. 

How Does Intimacy Counseling Help 

Intimacy issues aren’t easy to talk about. Unfortunately, most couples would rather not talk about intimacy problems because it worsens things. 

Sadly, avoidance doesn’t make the problem go away. Instead, it makes it worse. And little by little, the challenges mount up and eat away at the relationship’s health. 

Couples who realize they can’t discuss the issue without a resolution eventually hire an intimacy counselor to help them. 

In sessions, couples find they can open up about their problems, and instead of fighting, they can create a conversation that leads to transformation. Even issues that seem to no have no solution can be resolved with intimacy counseling. 

Everything starts with a discussion, and when couples get proper guidance, they can talk about the root cause of their intimacy problems. 

In our work with thousands of couples, we find many couples benefit from working with a counselor or therapist for intimacy issues. In the sessions, couples have open and fruitful discussions about how they want intimacy, sex, touch, dialogue, romance, finances, and other issues that hinder a deep connection. 

Working with couples, we help them learn:

• Simple techniques and exercises to create a deeper connection 
• The different ways each partner wants intimacy and sex 
• How to discuss their differences so each person can listen and hear the other 
• How to share what each person wants, and how men and women differ 
• The ways to bring up issues so it creates a resolution (and not more fights) 
• Tantric exercises for deepening the intimacy 
• Scientifically backed methods to increase pleasure in and out of the bedroom 
• Why intimacy issues occur, and what actions to take to change them 
• How to end repetitive fights 
• The different relationship styles (in case a couple is seeking a non-traditional relationship style)
• Resources to help with; intimacy avoidance, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and healing techniques for sexual traumas. 

And, of course, there’s more, but this list is a good start to what most couples seek to get from intimacy counseling. 

Intimacy Counseling Helps Singles And Couples 

Sometimes a couple will come and seek individualized sessions. For example, the husband or the wife will want to do sessions alone instead of as a couple. Other times, a single will come in hopes of improving their ability to create intimacy. 

Individuals in a relationship and singles who want private 1-1 sessions can benefit from sessions. 

In both cases, the outcome is an improved ability to create intimacy. For example, a coupled-up person may feel safer sharing without their partner in the room, thus allowing us to go deeper without any hindrance from fully sharing.

Similarly, when a single person comes to intimacy counseling, they can share what’s going on and open up so we can dig into the conscious and unconscious blocks stopping them from having the intimacy they’d like. 

What’s Best For A Coupled Person  

In our experience, when a coupled man or woman comes alone, they benefit best by having a mix of solo and coupled-up intimacy counseling sessions. 

The results are always best when a partner can be involved.

The mixture of solo sessions and visits with their partner provides a space where they can share without hindrance while also having an opportunity to do work with guided work with their partner during other sessions. 

Where To Find An Intimacy Counselor 

Right here on Lasting Love Connection, you have access to two intimacy counselors. If you’d prefer a woman, you can speak with Kamala Chambers. Or if you’d like to work with a man, Luis Congdon is here too.

If you’d like, you can also look at our Intimacy coaching program (married or unmarried, these sessions can be applied directly to your intimacy counseling sessions). 

And if you’d like to speak to either of us, feel free to call for a free consultation. 

The best way to find an intimacy counselor is to review their website, read their articles, then call and speak with them. During your conversation, you can explain your situation, gauge their response, and see if you like them.

What to ask an intimacy counselor before hiring: 

Before hiring someone for marriage counseling, relationship counseling, or intimacy counseling – call or at least check out their website. Make sure their philosophies and personality will best be suited to help you.

If you do a free consultation, here are some questions you can ask before you hire an intimacy counselor.

1. How do you work?
2. How much do you charge?
3. What’s your experience with my specific problem? 
4. What’s your style?
5. Do you offer packages, and how do those work? 

By speaking with your counselor, you can see if they will be a good fit for you. Quite often, you’ll find someone who has created YouTube videos, blog posts, and reviews will have enough for you to hire them confidently – but a short email exchange or phone call can do wonders to help you confidently hire a counselor.

Related Article: Premarital Counseling Questions

How Much Does Intimacy Counseling Cost 

Intimacy counseling and sex therapy are individualized. Therefore, no counselor can tell you the exact cost for you. 

Given each person is quite different, some general broad strokes are all this article (or anyone can provide you) to help you budget for intimacy counseling. 

Most sessions will vary from $150-$500 per session. Of course, it would help if you didn’t have to pay more, but you likely won’t get excellent counseling below that price. 

How to get the best deal with your counselor: 

If the intimacy counselor has packages, you’ll do well to schedule a free consult and inquire about the cost per single session and package costs. If you like the intimacy counselor after your initial consult, schedule a single session with an option to apply the first session’s fee towards a package. 

We often tell couples and singles to be ready to invest anywhere $3,000+ towards intimacy counseling to ensure you get plenty of sessions and the help you need to transform your intimacy and sex life. One session can make a difference, but like anything in life, one time will only go so far regarding lasting transformation. 

If you’d like to see the packages we offer at Lasting Love Connection, you can go here: Intimacy Program. Each of these can be used to focus specifically on what you need. For example, suppose you’re dealing with intimacy issues. In that case, we highly recommend the Intimacy Program, and it’ll offer you plenty of intimacy counseling sessions and give you time to undo the problems. 

See if Intimacy Counseling is right for you, book a complimentary couple’s consult.