If you are considering couples therapy and unsure about what to expect, these questions for marriage counseling can help you prepare.
We have compiled a list of questions that you can ask your spouse during marriage counseling.
With the guidance of a trained expert, these questions will help you identify challenges in your relationship and determine how to move forward.
Table of Contents
What is discussed in couples therapy?
Marriage counseling caters to the specific needs of a married couple.
A marriage counselor will identify problematic areas in your relationship and help you resolve these issues.
Common marital issues discussed during counseling include:
- communication difficulties
- unresolved past conflicts
- parenting challenges
- healing after infidelity
- trust issues
- financial strain
- challenges with sexual intimacy
18 marriage counseling questions to ask your spouse
Now, let’s dive into 18 essential marriage counseling questions to ask your spouse.
When discussed with a professional, these therapy questions will help you gain new insights into your relationship and identify areas to focus on during counseling sessions.
Related Reading: Premarital Counseling Questions
Questions for marriage counseling #1: What are the major issues in our relationship?
Ask your partner what they think are the most pressing issues in your relationship.
You may be surprised to discover that what’s bothering you might not be a big deal to your partner, and vice versa.
Therefore, asking for their perspective helps you identify and focus on their main concerns and address relationship problems during counseling sessions.
Questions for marriage counseling #2: How and when did these problems start?
It’s essential to identify when your marriage problems started and what triggered them so that you can figure out how to move forward.
For example, do you feel your arguments have become more intense since you started a new job, had a baby, or something else that has led to increased stress levels?
Has the distance between you and your partner grown since they made a hurtful comment a few months ago?
Understanding when a problem started can help you go back and repair it.
Questions for marriage counseling #3: What do you think is lacking in our relationship?
Knowing what your partner feels is lacking and sharing what you think is missing helps you meet each other’s needs.
For instance, does your partner miss the passion and excitement you had at the beginning of your relationship?
Or are they hesitant to discuss their concerns because it often leads to an argument?
Your partner’s response helps you better understand their desires for the relationship and what they see as important areas for improvement.
Questions for marriage counseling #4: Are we going through a bad phase?
Most couples experience periods of tension, boredom, or difficulty, but that doesn’t necessarily mean their relationship is doomed.
For example, when couples have a new baby, start a new job, or lose a parent, it can add additional stress to the relationship.
Keeping this in mind helps us be more empathetic and understanding that this is a temporary phase due to external stressors.
It is possible to revive your connection and make your relationship alive again.
If you and your partner recognize that what you’re going through is a bad phase, it can remind you that it’s just a bump in the road and things will get better.
Questions for marriage counseling #5: How could we improve our communication?
It’s essential to assess how effectively you communicate with your partner.
A good way to start is by asking them how they feel about how you communicate.
Do they feel safe expressing their feelings and concerns, even when uncomfortable?
Do they feel accepted without judgment or criticism when they do share?
After your partner answers, discuss how you can communicate effectively to ensure that you both feel heard and your needs are met.
Questions for marriage counseling #6: Do we need to address any unresolved conflicts?
Unresolved conflicts with your partner are likely to resurface in future arguments.
Furthermore, unaddressed hurt creates a barrier to intimacy in your marriage.
Ask your spouse if they still hold onto any hurt or relationship resentment from past conflicts.
Acknowledging your partner’s feelings helps you start the healing process and find a way to move forward together.
Questions for marriage counseling #7: How do you feel about our emotional connection?
Additionally, it’s helpful to ask your spouse about their feelings regarding your emotional connection.
Are you spending enough time together to connect?
Does your spouse feel your presence with them or find you distracted during your time together?
If you feel emotionally distant, have a conversation with your partner and discuss ways to improve emotional intimacy in your relationship.
Questions for marriage counseling #8: Are you satisfied with our physical intimacy?
A fulfilling sex life is an essential aspect of a healthy marriage.
However, many couples experience frustration and dissatisfaction in their sex lives, struggle with intimacy, and feel like they can’t talk about it.
Asking this question allows your partner to voice their concerns about sex and intimacy.
For example, your spouse may be concerned that you’re no longer interested in sex and worry that you’re not attracted to them.
While talking about sex can be challenging at first, initiating this conversation allows you to start opening up about your desires and even sharing fantasies.
Are you and your partner struggling with intimacy? Join the Intimacy Workshop.
Questions for marriage counseling #9: Do you trust me?
A healthy relationship requires mutual trust.
If your spouse doesn’t trust you, it will lead to many relationship problems.
This lack of trust may stem from past trauma or patterns of dishonesty within your marriage.
While discovering that your partner doesn’t trust you can be painful, accepting this reality can be the first step towards addressing these issues in marriage counseling sessions.
Questions for marriage counseling #10: How can I regain your trust?
If trust has been broken between you and your spouse, address the issue directly.
Ask your partner what specific actions you can take to rebuild trust.
This question helps you understand what behaviors are necessary to regain trust in your relationship.
Remember that gaining trust is a process that takes time and effort from both sides.
Questions for marriage counseling #11: What do you love most about me?
Many of these marriage counseling session questions focus on addressing relationship problems.
However, it’s equally important to acknowledge the strengths of your relationship.
How do you enhance your partner’s life?
What do they bring to your life that no one else does?
Focusing on each other’s positive traits fuels appreciation and gratitude, which is helpful during challenging times.
To bring more appreciation into your relationship, pick up the Appreciation Game.
Questions for marriage counseling #12: What expectations do you have of me that have not been met?
Your partner may have some frustrations due to unmet expectations, or maybe they never effectively communicated their needs in the first place.
The best approach is to ask your spouse about their expectations of you directly.
By being on the same page with each other’s expectations, you can better understand and meet each other’s needs.
Questions for marriage counseling #13: What outside factors cause the most stress in our relationship?
A marital relationship does not happen in a vacuum.
Many factors affect your relationship satisfaction, including overall stress levels, financial pressure, and mental or physical health issues.
Identifying stressors that are most likely to cause strain in your relationship and learning how to stop fighting helps mitigate the impact of future problems.
Questions for marriage counseling #14: Do you feel loved by me?
It’s possible that despite your efforts to make your spouse feel loved, they may not receive it as you intended.
To ensure their needs are met, ask your partner what makes them feel the most cared for.
Questions for marriage counseling #15: Have you been thinking about divorce?
If your partner is considering divorce, couples therapy provides a safe space to explore those feelings.
Divorce is emotionally and financially costly, so it’s important to consider expert advice from a marriage therapist before making any decisions.
With the right support, it’s possible to break unhealthy patterns and develop healthier ways of relating.
At Lasting Love Connection, we have successfully helped many couples transform their relationships from the brink of divorce.
No matter how difficult things may seem, it’s not too late to save your marriage.
Join the Save Your Marriage Course and turn your relationship around.
Questions for marriage counseling #16: What are your hopes and visions for our future together?
Ask your partner about their relationship goals and what they hope for your lives together.
This discussion creates a clear objective and direction for your time in couples therapy.
Often, when things get tough, it is easy to get caught up in the problems and lose sight of the bigger picture.
By discussing your aspirations and desires for the future, you remind yourselves that you can overcome your current challenges and that your relationship is worth fighting for.
Doing this bonds you in a more positive way.
Questions for marriage counseling #17: What can I do to make our relationship better?
When you ask your spouse how you can improve your relationship, you demonstrate that you are willing to take responsibility for your role in marital issues.
Instead of blaming your partner, you acknowledge that you have a part to play in the relationship dynamic.
This question allows your partner to express concerns and feelings about the relationship. In turn, you can work together to find solutions.
Questions for marriage counseling #18: Are you willing to make changes to improve our relationship?
To make couples therapy effective, you and your partner must be willing to make the necessary effort to improve your relationship.
If you and your spouse are committed to the process, it is a positive sign that you can make your marriage work.
Book a complimentary couples consultation.
Work with a marriage counselor to transform your marriage
When discussing these therapy questions, a couples therapist provides expert advice to help you navigate any challenges you’re facing.
Additionally, they will give you tools to build a strong foundation for a loving and happy marriage.
To reap the benefits of couples therapy, finding the right marriage counselor that suits your needs is crucial.
At Lasting Love Connection, we offer online marriage counseling services to help you overcome any obstacles in your relationship.
If you’re concerned about fitting in-person sessions into your life, working with an online couples counselor eliminates many barriers, such as traveling to a counselor’s office.
Also, we offer complimentary couples consultations, so you can speak with us about your relationship concerns and determine if working together would be a good fit.
Book a complimentary couples consultation with us today.
What are signs you need marriage counseling?
Couples who are experiencing challenges in their relationship benefit from marriage counseling. Some signs that indicate a need for couples therapy include: communication breakdowns, inability to stop fighting, emotional distance, lack of intimacy, trust issues, major life stressors or transitions, and mental health or self-esteem issues that affect the relationship.
What questions are asked in marriage therapy?
Common couples therapy questions you might expect in the first session include: 1) How did you originally fall in love? 2) What are the specific challenges you are facing in your relationship? 3) How would you describe the level of emotional intimacy in your relationship? 4) How do you handle conflicts? 5) What are your shared goals for the future?
What do you say during marriage counseling?
In marriage counseling, what you say depends on your circumstances, feelings, and experiences. Nonetheless, it is crucial to approach each counseling session with openness, honesty, and a willingness to engage in the process. Here are some tips: 1.) Express your feelings calmly and respectfully. 2.) Communicate your needs. 3.) Listen carefully as your partner shares.
Can marriage counseling bring back love?
If you and your spouse are struggling to rekindle the passion and intimacy in your relationship, we recommend seeking professional help from a couples therapist or marriage and family therapist. With expert guidance, you can reignite the spark in your marriage and restore the romantic love you once shared.
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