Are you searching for ways to start improving emotional intimacy in your relationship?
Is your marriage missing the deep connection and closeness you desire?
Would you like to learn proven strategies to help you build and maintain a strong emotional connection with your partner?
If so, we’ve got you covered.
This article explores the importance of emotional intimacy in romantic relationships.
Then, we will give you 15 ways to build emotional intimacy in your marriage.
Table of Contents
What is emotional intimacy?
You can define emotional intimacy as the deep emotional connections between two individuals.
In an emotionally intimate relationship, you and your partner feel completely understood and accepted by the other.
Emotionally intimate relationships are defined by effective communication, trust, empathy, and emotional support.
This article focuses on creating emotional intimacy in romantic relationships, but these skills can also be used to develop strong emotional bonds with friends and family members.
What does a lack of emotional intimacy look like?
A lack of emotional intimacy in a marriage or partnership can manifest in various ways.
When there is a lack of emotional intimacy in your relationship, it is one of the biggest signs your marriage will end in divorce.
Let’s discuss some signs that may indicate a lack of emotional intimacy, then take a look at how to fix lack of emotional intimacy.
Poor communication
You and your partner may struggle to have honest and open conversations where you freely share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
For example, if you try to express a concern with your partner, it leads to an argument or shutting down.
Consequently, you steer clear from discussing your feelings or needs altogether to avoid conflict.
Communication problems typically develop with poor conflict resolution skills, blame, or defensiveness.
Related Reading: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel
Emotional distance
When emotional connection fades, the emotional distance between you grows.
As a result, you may feel more like mere roommates rather than romantic partners.
It feels as though you’re leading separate lives, focusing on individual interests, and no longer putting in the effort to connect.
Lack of trust
Trust issues can arise or intensify when you or your partner feel distant from each other. You or your partner may become more suspicious, jealous, or insecure in your marriage.
Also, if trust is broken in your relationship, it can be challenging to feel connected unless you rebuild the trust again.
Loneliness
When emotional intimacy is lacking, you or your partner may feel deeply lonely – Especially if there is emotional neglect.
If the problem persists, one or both of you might seek emotional support or closeness from another person.
Decreased physical intimacy
Diminished emotional closeness often leads to reduced physical and sexual intimacy.
If you have no sex drive, it’s possible there are unmet emotional needs within your relationship.
Related Reading: My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me & How to Make My Husband Attracted to Me
15 ways to build emotional intimacy in your relationship
Feeling emotionally connected and close to your partner doesn’t just happen.
Building a strong emotional connection in a relationship requires effort and time.
Let’s discuss 15 practical tips to help you build emotional intimacy in your marriage.
Improving emotional intimacy tip #1: Put away the devices
Technology has become an essential part of daily life and, in many ways, helps us to connect.
However, our addiction to our screens can be a major obstacle to meaningful one-on-one interaction.
According to a study published by the American Psychological Association, married couples who experienced more interruptions from technology had more conflicts and lower relationship satisfaction
Cultivate more emotional intimacy in your marriage by turning off devices while spending time together.
A great way to achieve this is by agreeing to set your cell phones aside for at least an hour every evening to reconnect and share about your day without any distractions.
Improving emotional intimacy tip #2: Spend time together
Incorporating more emotional intimacy into your relationship dynamics requires consistent quality time together.
Scheduling a weekly date night breaks the monotony of everyday life, allowing you to focus on having fun together and strengthening your connection.
Prioritizing time together brings you closer and fuels positive feelings within your marriage.
For 100+ unique date night ideas, pick up the Relationship Workbook.
Tip #3: Explore shared interests
To deepen your emotional bond with your partner, spend time exploring your shared interests.
For instance, if both of you are foodies, try a new restaurant together or experiment with different cuisines.
Similarly, if you both enjoy traveling, plan a trip together or discuss your dream destinations.
Another idea is to start a two-person book club and discuss personal development topics.
Trying new things and having shared experiences helps to create emotional intimacy and strengthen your bond.
Improving emotional intimacy tip #4: Expand your listening skills
Emotional intimacy can only happen when both partners feel safe expressing their thoughts and feelings.
To help your partner feel comfortable opening up to you, focus on being a good listener.
Being a good listener looks like giving the other person your undivided attention and showing genuine interest in what they have to say.
Listen and validate how your partner is feeling without interrupting or rushing to offer a solution.
Honing your listening skills strengthens your connection and deepens your relationship.
Improving emotional intimacy tip #5: Practice vulnerability
Building intimacy in a relationship requires vulnerability.
When you are vulnerable with your partner, you allow them to see your true self, including your innermost thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams.
It is okay if opening up feels completely out of your comfort zone.
It doesn’t have to feel natural at this point.
Vulnerability is a skill that can be developed over time.
Start by sharing an experience with your partner and how it made you feel or open up about something you are worried about.
Emotional intimacy tip #6: Ask better questions
Meaningful conversations can unlock unexpected discoveries about your partner, leading to greater intimacy in your marriage.
In long-term relationships, it’s common to get stuck in a routine where conversations don’t go beyond daily tasks and logistics.
However, you can change this by steering dinner conversation in a new direction and asking thought-provoking questions.
If you’re looking for a fun and engaging way to initiate deeper conversations and build a stronger relationship, pick up the Intimacy Deck.
Tip #7: Become more comfortable with your emotions
Before developing an intimate relationship with another person, you have to learn how to be present with your emotions.
When you are feeling hurt, frustrated, or angry, acknowledge those feelings and allow them to pass through you without pushing them away.
By accepting your emotions moment by moment, you increase your capacity to support your partner through their difficult feelings.
This relationship advice isn’t discussed enough: increasing emotional intelligence leads to a more connected, fulfilling partnership.
Tip #8: Develop a daily ritual to deepen your emotional connection
If you’re wondering how to build emotional intimacy with a woman or how to build emotional intimacy with a man, start with a daily connection ritual.
Establishing a daily ritual is a simple way to deepen emotional closeness in your marriage.
For instance, you and your partner can spend a few minutes in the evening without distractions and discuss your day.
Alternatively, you can decide to spend 30 minutes cuddling before going to bed.
Regardless of what happens during the day, you can rely on this time with your partner to reconnect.
Emotional intimacy tip #9: Express appreciation
Expressing gratitude towards your partner and acknowledging their contributions to the relationship helps to build emotional intimacy.
Send an unexpected text to your partner, expressing how much they mean to you.
Also, you can show your appreciation when they help you with daily chores, like getting groceries.
Letting your partner know what you love about them and how they positively impact your life can go a long way in creating a stronger connection.
To help, play the Appreciation Game together.
Emotional intimacy tip #10: View conflict as a chance to grow closer
Many people believe that conflict damages relationships and destroys connection.
But what if resolving conflicts in a healthy way could lead to more closeness and connection?
When you and your partner disagree, see it as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of each other.
Instead of getting defensive and holding on to your point of view, try to listen to your partner.
Dive deeper into your underlying motivations and reasons for thinking and behaving in certain ways.
When you approach conflicts as opportunities to learn more about each other and yourself, you’ll find that your differences can bring you closer.
Healthy conflict resolution leads to deeper trust, understanding, and intimacy in your relationship.
Improving emotional intimacy tip #11: Address issues as they arise
Over time, hidden emotions such as anger, resentment, or hurt can gradually damage emotional intimacy in your marriage.
Start restoring emotional intimacy through having regular relationship check-ins.
Relationship check-ins allow you to discuss relationship problems as they arise, preventing negative feelings from festering and creating more distance between you.
For a step-by-step guide to relationship check-ins and guided journal prompts to discuss with your partner, check out the Relationship Workbook.
Emotional intimacy tip #12: Increase physical affection
Affectionate touch plays a crucial role in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Many peer-reviewed studies from high-quality sources have discovered that physical touch reduces stress, improves mental health and well-being, and enhances closeness and connection between partners.
Giving physical affection to your partner without expecting sex strengthens your relationship.
Consider adding more time together with affectionate touch, such as hugging before parting ways in the morning, holding hands while on a walk, or cuddling while spending time together watching TV in the evening.
Improving emotional intimacy tip #13: Maintain a strong sense of trust
Relationships cannot thrive without trust.
You can continue building trust in your relationship by supporting each other during difficult times and fulfilling your promises.
However, if trust has been broken, it’s normal to feel unsafe to open up or be vulnerable in your marriage.
Rebuilding intimacy and trust is a gradual process that takes time.
Whether you hurt your partner or they hurt you, you’ll have to re-establish a sense of emotional safety in the relationship, and this doesn’t happen overnight.
If you are experiencing broken trust and don’t know how to fix your broken relationship, we are here to help.
Book a complimentary couples consultation with us.
Improving emotional intimacy tip #14: Support each other’s dreams
If you want to build emotional intimacy in your relationship, share your life goals, hopes, and dreams with your partner and encourage them to do the same.
Talk about how you can support each other in achieving your goals and aspirations.
Additionally, create shared goals and dreams for your relationship.
Having shared couple goals adds a sense of purpose and meaning to your life together.
Emotional intimacy tip #15: Seek professional support
If you are struggling with ongoing relationship issues getting in the way of emotional intimacy, seek support instead of trying to figure it out alone.
A relationship counselor or coach will provide insights and guidance to help you move forward and achieve the loving, connected relationship you desire.
If you want to create more intimacy and passion in your relationship, we offer an Intimacy Workshop designed to equip you and your partner with the tools for a deeply fulfilling partnership.
What causes lack of emotional intimacy?
There are many reasons why emotional intimacy in a relationship can be lacking, like communication problems, past traumas, and fear of vulnerability. Moreover, life stressors and pressures can limit quality time together and make a deeper emotional connection difficult.
Is it possible to rebuild emotional intimacy?
Reviving intimacy in a relationship requires time, effort, and commitment. The first step is to seek professional help from a relationship counselor or coach who can help you identify and address underlying issues related to intimacy. We can teach you strategies to restore intimacy and strengthen your relationship. Book a couples consult.
What builds emotional intimacy?
Building emotional intimacy in a relationship requires time, effort, and a willingness to be vulnerable. Examples of emotional intimacy include practicing open and honest communication, spending quality time together, improving conflict resolution skills, expressing appreciation, increasing physical affection, and setting shared goals.
How do I get better at emotional intimacy?
If you’re wondering how to repair emotional intimacy in your relationship, one of the best ways is to practice vulnerability. Challenge yourself to share your innermost thoughts, fears, or struggles with your partner and offer a safe and supportive space for them to do the same.
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