How To Spice Up Your Marriage | 50 Ways To Reconnect


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Are you curious about how to spice up your marriage?

Do you miss the passion you once shared?

If your relationship feels stagnant, know that it’s totally normal.

With intentionality and effort, it is possible to reignite the spark again.

How do I get spice back in my marriage?

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

It is common to feel disconnected or like things have become dull.

However, even the slightest shifts can reintroduce passion and excitement into a long-term relationship.

Simple tips to spice up your marriage

If you’re wondering how to keep marriage spicy, these strategies keep the passion and connection alive.

Make time for each other.

Date Night Relationship Workbook For Couples

Consistent quality time is one of the keys to a successful marriage.

Yet, many couples find time together is the first thing placed on the back burner when life gets busy with new jobs, kids, and a neverending to-do list.

Don’t wait to spend time together and show your partner how much they matter to you. Schedule a fun date, weekend getaway, or even just time to talk without distractions.

Quality time doesn’t have to involve spending money. You can even plan an at-home date night. For example, take a walk outside, play a board game, work on a puzzle, or cook together.

Prioritizing time with your spouse shows them how important they are to you. This builds trust and confidence in the relationship.

Start by planning a date night.

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Date nights are an excellent way to reconnect with your spouse and infuse some excitement into the relationship.

To plan a date night, start by brainstorming something new you could experience together.

Are there any new restaurants you have talked about going to?

Is there an activity you’ve had on your bucket list? For example, unique experiences like a hot air balloon ride, a cooking class, or zip-lining might be on your couple’s bucket list.

Once you have committed to a date night, protect that special time and do whatever you can to make it happen.

Bring back the romance.

Think back to when you first started dating and how much thoughtfulness went into pursuing your partner.

To enhance your love life, incorporate the same effort into your marriage.

Simple ways to recapture the romance

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • Write a heartfelt love letter to your husband or wife.
  • Send a thoughtful text message to brighten their day.
  • Leave a sweet note on the kitchen counter.
  • Offer a genuine compliment.
  • Buy your spouse their favorite candy or dessert for no reason at all.

Surprise each other with gifts.

Giving your spouse an unexpected gift can communicate how special they are to you.

Surprise your spouse with an unexpected present for no reason at all. For example, present your wife with her favorite flowers or a vinyl record she’s been eying. Or, purchase tickets to an event your husband would enjoy.

Make a homemade present

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Additionally, you could craft a homemade present as a budget-friendly option.

Make a collage of a vacation you’ve taken together, and reminisce as you look at the photos.

Or, bake those cookies that your wife or husband loves.

Gifts don’t have to be fancy or expensive to be deeply meaningful.

Regardless of what gift you give, it’s the gesture that demonstrates thoughtfulness and effort.

Talk to your partner about enhancing your sex lives.

Initiating a conversation about sex can feel awkward or uncomfortable at first.

However, most couples that don’t communicate about sex may find themselves unfulfilled in the bedroom.

Communicating your sexual desires, preferences, and needs is essential to great sex and can make you a better lover.

Open a dialogue with your partner where you can share without judgment.

For example, you may feel like your husband wants sex but not intimacy.

Sharing what intimacy means to you allows him to understand what you need to feel connected and turned on.

Questions to ask your partner about sex and intimacy

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • What do you like about our sex life?
  • What is missing from our sex life?
  • Is there anything new you would like to incorporate into sexy time?
  • How could we switch things up a bit?
  • What are some ways to spice up our sex lives that you want to try?

Change things up in the bedroom.

The thought of changing up the status quo can be scary.

However, breaking out of your comfort zone is a good way to start spicing up your marriage.

Creative ways to spice up your sex life

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • Experiment with different sex positions.
  • Give role-play a try.
  • Incorporate sex toys (here are the most popular sex toys on Amazon).
  • Discuss your sexual fantasies.
  • Initiate sex in a different room or place.
  • Play a sex-related game.
  • Focus on foreplay– spend more time touching and complimenting each other’s body parts before sex.
  • Send sexy text messages to build anticipation while you’re apart.

Related Reading: How to Make My Husband Attracted To Me

Seek support for challenges around sexual desire.

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Sex is one of the most complicated and nuanced relationship topics. It can bring up pains around body shame, sexual shame, and traumas.

Talking about your sex life can be loaded with potholes and landmines that make it challenging to discuss your desires successfully. As a result, it’s not uncommon for couples to report they’ve struggled with sexual discontent for months, years, or even the entirety of their relationship.

Since you’re reading this, we know you’re dealing with one of the most difficult subjects for couples. Please don’t hesitate to book a complimentary couples consultation to allow us to help you.

If you and your partner are struggling with intimacy issues, you’re success is more guaranteed if you let an expert support you.

If you or your partner are experiencing ongoing challenges around sex (such as lack of sex drive), try couples therapy.

By working with a relationship coach, you can address issues around sexual desire and intimacy. They can help you to move towards a more satisfying sex life.

Book a complimentary couples consult.

Initiate physical contact outside of sex.

Make a conscious effort to show physical affection without the end goal of sex.

Examples of affectionate touch

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • Cuddle on the couch while watching a movie.
  • Hold hands around town.
  • Share a long hug.
  • Give an affectionate shoulder squeeze.
  • Play footsie during dinner.

Affectionate touch can fuel a sense of closeness with your spouse, especially if your love language is physical touch.

Show appreciation for each other.

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Offering appreciation for what your partner contributes can help spur positive feelings in the relationship.

For example, thank your spouse for what they do around the house or for making your week easier by running a particular errand.

Recognizing your partner for their efforts reminds them that their contributions matter and do not go unnoticed.

Just a few kind words can make your partner feel great.

Additionally, showing appreciation deepens the trust and respect between you and your partner.

For a fun way to spend time together and strengthen gratitude between you, pick up the Appreciation Game.

Listen to each other.

One of the simplest tips for spicing up marriage is prompting a meaningful conversation through a relationship check-in.

First, ask your partner to share about their week or what they’ve been thinking about.

As your partner shares, listen attentively and maintain an open attitude. Prompt them to express their thoughts and feelings without interrupting.

Even if you disagree with their perspective, allow them the space to feel heard without judgment.

Meaningful conversations ignite intimacy.

Intimacy Deck - Couples Card Games

Another way to start spicing things up in marriage is to go deeper in conversations.

For many married couples, the conversation stops at logistics like household tasks or kids’ schedules.

Make a point to dive below the surface. This shows your partner that you care about knowing them on a deeper level.

Deeper conversations may lead you and your partner to realize something new about each other.

Your spouse is constantly growing and changing, just as you are.

Remembering there is still more to learn about them can add an element of intrigue to your relationship.

Continuously engaging with their inner world can add significant depth and excitement to your marriage.

Put this into practice, and uncover more about your partner with the Intimacy Deck.

Make time for yourself.

Feeling drained by the demands of work, kids, or daily responsibilities can easily seep into your love life.

To maintain a healthy partnership, prioritize your mental and emotional wellness.

Don’t forget to add time for self-care into your daily or weekly routine.

Self-care looks different for everyone. So, explore what helps you feel nourished – It could be the most important thing you do for your relationship.

Self-care practices

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • Going for a walk.
  • Practicing yoga or meditation.
  • Deep breathing.
  • Writing in a journal.
  • Spending time with a cherished friend.
  • Engaging in a calming hobby (like reading or listening to music).
  • Fueling your body with healthy foods.
  • Getting enough sleep.

Prioritizing self-care helps you function at your best, benefiting you and your relationship. It’s a double-win.

How can I make my marriage more interesting?

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Remaining curious about your partner helps you to grow closer. Inquire about what is going on in your partner’s head.

Talk about the things that often get crowded out by the demands of daily life. As you share, hold hands and remain present with each other without distractions.

Even just a few minutes of meaningful discussion can build emotional intimacy and progress your relationship when it is stagnant.

How can we make our marriage more exciting?

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Considering how to make your marriage more exciting may seem intimidating. Start by deciding on a new activity to try together.

This could be getting a couples massage or riding bikes.

Breaking out of your routine and experiencing something new together can reignite desire— even in the most stuck relationships.

Is it possible to add romance and adventure into a marriage?

When your marriage feels stale, incorporating more romance and adventure can be a great way to reignite the spark.

Tips for adding more romance and adventure to your marriage today

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • Schedule a weekend getaway.
  • Set off on an unplanned adventure and see where the day takes you.
  • Plan a date that is outside of your comfort zone.
  • Take up a shared hobby.
  • Try something new in your sex life.
  • Increase physical affection (even outside of sex).
  • Exchange flirty compliments.
  • Write your husband or wife a heartfelt letter or note.
  • Surprise your partner with a gift.

Are there any unique date ideas that could help spice up a relationship?

Planning a fun date night and engaging in activities you are both interested in can help you reconnect.

That said, you may be tired of dinner and a movie.

Start talking about how you might break out of your routine and try something different for your next date night.

Unique date night ideas

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • Attend a concert.
  • Enjoy a picnic.
  • Go bowling.
  • Visit the arcade.
  • Go to an improv show.
  • Take a dance class.
  • Sing karaoke.
  • Invite another couple to an escape room.
  • Paint pottery.
  • Play mini golf.
  • Go to the aquarium.
  • Walk around a local park or botanical garden.
  • Explore a new coffee shop or bakery.

Sharing new experiences can be a surefire way to keep the spark alive.

What are some fun activities for couples to do together?

You don’t have to wait until a scheduled date night to connect.

Instead, incorporate more quality time into your everyday routine.

Fun activities to do together

How To Spice Up Your Marriage
  • Cook or bake together.
  • Go for a walk.
  • Work on a crossword puzzle.
  • Set up an at-home spa night.
  • Play a favorite video game together.
  • Reminiscence on old photos or videos, and take a trip down memory lane.
  • Have a movie marathon with your favorite snacks.

Learn something new together.

Additionally, consider taking up a new hobby as a couple. Is there a skill you both want to learn or an activity you could try together?

Further, consider joining a class, club, or social group together. This allows you to engage in a shared experience and form new friendships.

Making friends as a couple is another way to keep things fresh and exciting.

What types of activities can help strengthen the bond between spouses?

In addition to fun dates, working side by side towards a common goal can be an excellent way to increase emotional intimacy and connection.

How to spice up your marriage by tackling a project together.

Is there a home project you could take on together?

How could you use your passions and interests to collaborate on a creative project?

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Are there any volunteer opportunities that you both would be interested in?

Bonding over a shared project can help you to reconnect and grow closer together.

Where can I find classes or events tailored explicitly to married couples?

Married couples searching for classes or events tailored to their needs can often find valuable resources in their local community.

Seek community resources.

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

First, look into community organizations, places of worship, local libraries, or your closest university. You may be able to find helpful information on couples’ classes or events happening in your local area.

Next, try talking with friends and community members. Find out what events they may be aware of and what resources they have found beneficial.

How to spice up your marriage with small actions

Consider which of these tips you might try to spice up your marriage.

A strong, healthy partnership doesn’t just happen.

However, growing your relationship does not require vast amounts of time or money.

Even a few small actions can reignite the same passion and excitement you once had.

Relationship Workbook For Couples

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Kamala and Luis

About Luis Congdon & Kamala Chambers

Lasting Love Connection offers top-ranked couples counseling services. Luis Congdon and Kamala Chambers are co-founders and co-authors of all that Lasting Love Connection offers. They have worked with thousands of couples nationwide via dynamic video coaching sessions and have features in Huffington Post, Inc Magazine, TEDx, Forbes, and Chicago Tribune.

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