Do you ever find yourself saying, “I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore?”
It’s normal to feel confused if you notice a change in your relationship and are unsure what’s causing it.
Let’s explore the possible reasons you may feel repelled by the idea of intimacy with your husband.
Then, we’ll discuss steps you can take to talk to your husband about how you feel, communicate your needs, and reignite attraction and desire in your relationship.
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Why do I feel disgusted when my husband touches me?
Does this sound familiar?
In the early days of your relationship, you longed to be close to your husband.
However, nowadays, your skin crawls whenever he touches you.
You might feel guilty about your reaction because you don’t understand why it’s happening or what to do about it.
Let’s explore why you may feel disgusted or shut down when your husband touches you.
Reason #1 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: There are unaddressed issues in your relationship
If there is unresolved conflict in your relationship, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t want to be physically close to your partner.
For example, your husband made an extremely hurtful comment during a disagreement last week, and you can’t seem to get it out of your head.
Now, when he touches you, all of the anger and frustration rushes to the surface.
Unresolved conflicts and hurt between you can interfere with your desire to be sexually intimate or emotionally close.
Reason #2 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: Your emotional needs are unmet
Your husband’s touch may repulse you because your emotional needs are not being met in the relationship.
For instance, you might want to have more meaningful conversations with your husband where you can share your fears and dreams for the future.
However, this rarely happens.
Instead, you feel your partner doesn’t understand what’s on your mind and your heart.
Meanwhile, it seems like your husband wants sex but not intimacy.
It feels like he wants to have sex even when you’re not emotionally connected, and that makes you feel used.
Reason #3 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: Touch comes with pressure and expectations for sex
Many women perceive their partner’s touch not as a gesture of affection but as an obligation.
They worry that accepting his touch will inevitably lead to sex.
However, suppose you’ve started associating touch with the expectation of a sexual encounter, regardless of whether you’re in the mood for it or not. In that case, it’s understandable that your husband’s touch would be a turn-off, and you don’t desire your husband.
Reason #4 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: Your sex life is unsatisfying
If you’ve realized that you no longer want your husband to touch you, it might be because your sex life is unsatisfying. You may long for him to be a better lover.
For instance, it may seem like it’s all about his needs and not yours during intimate moments.
If you feel like your husband isn’t concerned about fulfilling your sexual needs, it’s understandable why you wouldn’t be interested in being intimate.
Reason #5 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: Your marriage lacks romance and passion
One of the most common reasons for low sex drive is a lack of romance and passion in the relationship.
Settling into a predictable routine is easy in long-term relationships, and things can feel a little stale after a while.
A lack of excitement or spontaneity in your relationship can take a toll on your sex drive and physical connection.
Reason #6 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: He doesn’t respect your boundaries
Some women who are irritated by their husband’s touch feel their personal boundaries are frequently violated.
For instance, they may feel that their husband doesn’t respect their need for personal space.
As a result, his touch feels intrusive and grating.
Reason #7 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: You’re dealing with unresolved trauma
It is possible that not wanting your husband to touch you anymore could be a result of trauma.
For example, if you have experienced sexual abuse, you may find that physical contact triggers fear or anxiety.
If your avoidance of sex is rooted in trauma, seek the support of a trained professional who can help you on your healing journey.
Reason #8 – I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore: You’re struggling with self-confidence
If you feel repulsed by your husband’s touch, it could be due to low self-confidence.
For example, you might feel that he’s not attracted to you, or you’re insecure about your body.
When your husband touches you, you may be overwhelmed with worries and insecurities about how your body looks.
As a result of feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, you’ve started to avoid sex.
What to do when you’re thinking, “I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore?”
Now, let’s explore what you can do if you are feeling disgusted or turned off by the thought of physical intimacy with your husband.
Know that what you’re experiencing is normal
First, know that what you’re going through is normal and you’re not alone.
Many women experience a lack of interest in sex during certain seasons of life for various reasons.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Address underlying issues
Once you stop blaming yourself for your sexual aversion, you can start addressing the root causes of the issue.
Start by working through any underlying conflicts in your relationship that create distance between you.
For example, you may need to repair past hurts or better understand each other’s perspectives on an issue that keeps coming up.
Once you resolve the tension, you may desire closeness with your partner again.
Have honest communication about your needs
In healthy relationships, there is open and honest communication about sexual and emotional needs.
If you feel disgusted or disinterested when your husband touches you, it’s time to talk to your partner about how you feel.
When you sit down with your partner, clearly communicate your feelings and what you need.
For example, you might say, “I feel overwhelmed by physical affection sometimes because I experience it as a demand for sex.”
Or “To feel turned on and available for sex, I need to feel like we spent meaningful time connecting first.”
Keep a line of open communication about what makes you want to have sex, what turns you off from it, and what would make sex more pleasurable and fulfilling for you.
Break up the monotony to revitalize your physical relationship
If your sex drive has disappeared lately, you can reignite passion and excitement in your relationship by trying new things together.
For instance, you could explore a new restaurant in town or visit a park you’ve never visited.
Keeping things fresh in your relationship reignites feelings of attraction and desire.
For 100+ unique ways to spend time together, pick up the Relationship Workbook.
Strengthen your emotional connection
Another way to change your feelings about physical intimacy is to deepen your emotional intimacy.
Ways to strengthen emotional closeness
- Prioritize time together.
- Have consistent relationship check-ins.
- Stay curious about each other’s inner world.
- Express appreciation and gratitude.
- Work towards shared goals.
Explore physical touch without the expectation of sex
What would it be like to enjoy physical touch without all the pressure that often comes with it?
Take sex off the table for now, and instead, focus on just being tuned into the moment.
Spend time cuddling with your partner, hugging, or exploring each other’s bodies without having sex as the end goal.
Instead, focus on being present with each other and experiencing pleasure.
Prioritize self-care
Don’t neglect self-care as you navigate this confusing time in your relationship.
Self-care is especially important if you feel like your feelings of disgust around sex stem from feeling uncomfortable with yourself.
When you are kind to yourself and practice self-love, you’ll grow to feel comfortable in your own skin.
Seek couples counseling
If you are still having difficulties with sexual intimacy, seek marriage counseling.
During couples counseling, a relationship expert will assist you in identifying underlying issues and give you tools to restore a fulfilling relationship.
At Lasting Love Connection, we offer a free consultation to discuss your relationship challenges and provide a roadmap for moving forward.
Book a couples consultation with us today.
Is it normal to not want to be touched by your husband?
It’s common for couples to have rough patches with physical intimacy. Women may not feel like being physically close due to factors such as stress, anxiety, past trauma, or changes in emotional or physical health. Some women may also feel uncomfortable or insecure as their bodies change.
Why do I get annoyed when my husband touches me?
If you feel annoyed when your husband touches you, it might be because of unresolved issues within your relationship, such as communication problems or a lack of emotional intimacy. Other reasons for women feeling annoyed by their husbands’ touch might include stress, anxiety, past trauma, or physical or mental health issues.
What does a lack of affection do to a marriage?
Lack of physical affection in a marriage can have several negative effects, including emotional distance, resentment, and unmet needs. When a person feels like their spouse is not physically attracted to them, it can lead to decreased self-confidence and anxiety about the future of the relationship.
Is a marriage over if there is no intimacy?
A lack of intimacy doesn’t always indicate the end of a marriage. If you are concerned about the lack of sexual intimacy, there is hope. Seek marriage counseling for support as you identify the underlying problem, communicate your feelings and needs, and move towards a more fulfilling relationship.
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