“I have no desire for my husband. So, what do I do?”
In this article, we’ll answer questions women have about a low sex drive and how to have more desire.
Sexual passion can ebb and flow in relationships. However, there can be many reasons women lose interest in sex, including stress, fatigue, anxiety, chronic illness, frequent arguments, hormone levels, or side effects of certain medications.
Table of Contents
Why do I have no desire for my husband?
It’s common for couples to go through periods where they’re not as sexual as they were years ago. There can be several reasons for the dry spell.
Sex drives fluctuate if you’re stressed or anxious about other things, so you’re not in the mood for sex. Or it could be that you don’t find him as attractive as you used to.
Why am I not sexually interested in my husband?
If you’re asking yourself why you want less sex or thinking, ‘I have no sex drive but my husband does’, you’re not alone. Many women find themselves in a similar situation at some point in their marriage.
Several factors can contribute to a low sex drive, including stress, poor sleep, depression, women’s health issues, low libido, and chronic illness.
Or it’s possible your husband wants sex but not intimacy.
Communicate with your doctor, naturopath, or intimacy coach about your lack of sexual interest and try to identify the underlying cause.
You can find a solution that works for you and your husband. Start by showing your person love and affection in other ways. Get to know his love language so he can feel reassured that you still love him.
Related Article: I Have No Sex Drive, And It’s Ruining My Relationship
I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore.
It’s normal to have sexual differences. What may turn on women may not turn on the other gender.
Keep the communication lines open to ensure both partners feel comfortable and satisfied with the sexual activity.
Avoid placing blame or making him feel like he has done something wrong. Instead, try to explain how you are feeling and why. For example, you might say, “I love you, and I still find you attractive, but I’m just not feeling sexual right now. I need some time.”
If your spouse is receptive, you can work together to devise a plan to help meet both of your needs.
My husband repulses me sexually
Spouses can go through periods where they’re not as physically attracted to each other as they once were. Life gets busy, and it’s easy to let your sex life fall by the wayside.
However, if you’re repulsed by the thought of having sex with your spouse, explore what might be going on.
For example, perhaps you’re resentful toward your husband because he had an affair or repeatedly lied to you.
Or it’s possible your husband regularly watches porn.
You feel upset about his porn use because it makes you feel less desirable or even worthless to your husband.
There are many reasons why you may not feel as emotionally connected as you once did.
Dry spells are normal, but if you’re at the point of repulsion, your low sexual desire has to be addressed.
I have no desire for sex. What to tell my husband?
At this point, your partner is probably hurt and confused.
He is likely thinking, “Maybe my wife isn’t attracted to me,” or “My wife has no desire for sex. What can I do?”
Open communication can go a long way toward rebuilding your connection. Reassure him that your lack of desire doesn’t mean you don’t love him.
You might also want to explore other forms of sexual behavior, such as cuddling or massages.
If you are a husband wondering what to do when your wife has no desire, check out the article My Wife Loves Me But Doesn’t Desire Me.
How important is sex in a relationship?
It’s a common misconception that sex is the most essential component of a romantic relationship. In reality, many factors contribute to a healthy and happy partnership.
While sexual desire can certainly deepen the connection between two people, it’s by no means the be-all and end-all for happiness. For example, couples who share common interests and enjoy spending time together often have just as strong of a bond as those with an active sex life.
That being said, having an active sex life is vital to a partnership. Low sexual desire can lead to other sexual problems, such as an overall lost interest in the relationship, requesting an open relationship, or wanting an affair.
If you’re thinking, ‘I have no sex drive, and it’s ruining my relationship’, the key is communicating openly with your partner about your needs and desires.
If you’re struggling with low libido, don’t be afraid to seek help from a medical professional or sex therapist. You can reignite the spark and build a lasting bond with your partner with a little effort.
When a woman doesn’t have a sex drive
If you’re thinking, “I have no sex drive and my husband is mad,'” know that you’re not alone.
It’s not uncommon for women to lose interest in sex. Life is busy. Kids, work, and other demands of everyday life can leave little room or energy for sexual desire.
As a result, you may find that it’s causing conflict or tension in your relationship.
The good news is that there are things you can do to bring the spark back.
See if anything stands in the way of being interested in sex, like stress or fatigue. Then, once you’ve identified the problem, you can work together to find a solution.
Sometimes just making time for each other can make all the difference. In addition, you can consult a doctor or naturopath to see if there’s a medical reason for the low libido.
In short, patience, understanding, and communication make it possible to reignite the passion.
Related Article: Signs He Doesn’t Love You
I’m not interested in sex. What can I do?
If you’re not interested in sex, it can be tough to know what to do. On one hand, you don’t want to give up on your spouse. After all, you’ve committed to spending your life with this person.
But on the other hand, sex is an integral part of a healthy partnership. So what’s the answer?
Unfortunately, there’s no easy answer. Every situation is different, and you’ll need to weigh your options.
If you’re not interested in sex and your partner is, it might be possible to work on repairing your sexual relationship. Even if you’re locked in a pattern of avoidance and resentment, partners can repair with couples therapy or intimacy coaching.
Feel free to book a complimentary couples consult to see how we can help.
Remember that you’re not alone. Millions of women struggle with sexual dysfunction or a low sex drive. You can find support and advice from sexual and relationship therapy.
And whatever you do, don’t give up on yourself. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled, both physically and emotionally.
Related Article: I Have No Sex Drive, And My Husband Is Mad
How to feel desire for your husband again?
If you feel guilty because you have a low sex drive, you’re not alone. Many women go through phases where they don’t feel as attracted to their partner as they used to.
However, you can also do many things to rekindle the spark in your relationship. If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few ideas:
Talk about what’s bothering you
If something between you is causing stress, depression, or making you feel disconnected from your spouse, talking about it can be a great way to start addressing the issue.
Try to keep the focus on your needs and emotions instead of placing blame on your partner.
If your husband starts to become defensive, emphasize that you are not attacking him and want to work together to address the issue.
Make time for sexual desire
Sex isn’t everything, but making time for regular sex can be a great way to reconnect with your person on a deeper level.
Whether cuddling on the couch or taking things to the bedroom, physical touch can help boost the passion in your relationship.
Plan special dates
Sometimes, making your spouse feel special again takes a little effort. Whether planning a romantic dinner or going on a weekend getaway, date nights can help rekindle the flames of desire.
Pick up the couples card games to help increase intimacy.
Why am I so turned off by my husband?
It’s not uncommon for women to lose interest in sex in long-term relationships. In fact, it’s one of the most common complaints we hear from wives.
For one thing, low libido is a common side effect of many prescription medications. It can also be a symptom of underlying health conditions in women, such as low thyroid levels or diabetes. Stress and fatigue are also significant contributors to low sex drive.
Of course, there can also be emotional reasons why you’re no longer attracted to your partner.
Maybe you feel like he no longer tries to please you, doesn’t seem to care about your orgasm, or fails to make you feel special.
Perhaps you’re resentful of him because he ignores you or doesn’t seem as invested in the relationship as you are.
Another big reason you may be feeling turned off is that you don’t feel as desired as you want to.
How do I get my husband to desire me?
It’s not uncommon for partners to have different levels of sexual desire. Sometimes one partner wants sex more often than the other, which can feel one-sided.
You may be unsure if your husband is still attracted to you.
If you are looking for ways to infuse passion and excitement back into your marriage, check out the Date Night Workbook.
Here are a few things you can do to try and bring your husband’s level of desire up to match yours:
Talk about your sex life more often.
Tell him that more sex is important and that you’re interested in being more intimate with him. Explore your sexual fantasies, sexual desires, or ways to increase your sexual satisfaction.
Plan ahead.
Make sure you’re both on the same page regarding when and how often you’ll be having sex. If there’s a particular time of day or week that works better for you, consider that.
Be loving outside the bedroom.
To fuel your husband’s desire for you, show him affection in little ways throughout the day.
Kiss him hello or goodbye, add a sense of play, cuddle while watching TV, or hold hands while walking.
These small gestures can help create a stronger connection overall, leading to increased sexual desire.
How to be more sexually intimate with your husband?
Many couples come to us complaining of a lack of sexual intimacy in their relationship. While there can be many causes for this, there are a few things that you can do.
First, make time for each other. This means scheduling date nights, setting aside time to check in, and eliminating distractions when you’re together. Make time to connect and ignite intimacy outside the bedroom.
Whether cuddling on the couch or taking a romantic vacation, finding ways to be close to your partner can help.
Second, be more present when you are together. This means putting your phone away, making eye contact, and listening to what your partner says.
Third, be more adventurous in the bedroom. Try new things, experiment, and do relaxation techniques to open yourself to more pleasure.
Lastly, don’t forget to show your partner how much you care about them outside the bedroom. A little effort goes a long way in healthy relationships.
The solution to a sexless marriage
If your sexuality is suffering, you’re not alone. In fact, according to a recent survey, nearly one in five married couples go without sex for at least three months at a time.
And while this may not seem like a big deal to some, it can be a source of anxiety and stress for others.
If you’re struggling because of a lack of sexual intimacy, here are a few things you can do to help ease the tension.
1. Don’t force yourself to be intimate.
If you’re not in the mood, honor yourself. It’s important to respect your own needs and feelings.
2. Talk about what’s going on for you.
Talk to your partner about your needs and desires. For women, it’s essential to communicate about what you want sexually.
Sometimes it’s challenging to get turned on when there is too much emotional backlog. Let your spouse know that you need to share to be able to open up.
Perhaps you needed more time for foreplay, or you’d like sex to be better.
He may also feel rejected, worried you’re having an affair, or unsure how to feel more connected.
For more support and guidance in talking about intimacy with your partner and expressing your desires, join the Intimacy Workshop for Couples.
3. Spend some time focusing on yourself.
You can’t give from emptiness. Do things that make you feel good, such as exercise, play and have fun, spend time with friends, or get a massage.
4. Take care of your body.
When a woman feels good in her body, her sex drive may naturally increase, and it’s easier to orgasm.
To increase libido, take care of your body. For example, eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and avoid alcohol and drugs, which can lower your libido.
5. Get support from a sex therapist or marriage counselor.
If you can’t get your spark back on your own, there is no shame in getting support. A couples counseling therapist can help you understand what might be causing your low desire and how to address it.
If nothing seems to be working, it might be helpful to talk to a marriage counselor or sex therapist.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Sex therapists, intimacy coaches, or counselors (or even a naturopathic doctor) can provide guidance and support as you navigate sexual dysfunction.
Book a free couples consult for additional advice and support.
If you’re not feeling intimate with your spouse, there are a few things you can do to try and improve the situation. Share your feelings, focus on taking care of yourself, and get professional help.
I recently got married but till now we have no physical relationship between us