Why My Husband Is Ignoring Me And What To Do About It

It can be incredibly confusing when you notice ‘my husband is ignoring me.’

Maybe your marriage feels like it is suddenly falling apart.

If your husband ignores you or gives you the silent treatment, you may feel angry, hurt, confused, or frustrated.

So why is this happening?

We hope you find this article helpful and gain a better understanding of why your husband is ignoring you and what to do about it.

Why would a husband ignore his wife?

Many women who realize their husbands are ignoring them don’t know why.

There are many possible reasons that a husband might ignore his wife.

Sometimes, his behavior might reflect his deeper concerns or frustrations about your marriage.

Other times, his behavior could be explained by external stressors he is dealing with.

Related Reading: My Husband Doesn’t Listen

He’s feeling overwhelmed or stressed out

If you feel ignored by your husband, he may be stressed out by life circumstances that have nothing to do with you.

When life becomes overwhelming, many people pull away from their relationships as a way to cope.

For example, your husband might be experiencing work stress, financial pressures, conflict with friends, concern about his parents’ health, or any other stressful situation.

Or your husband could be experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety.

He might not know how to deal with his intense emotions or circumstances.

Instead of talking to you about what he’s going through, your husband may retreat into himself and shut down communication with you.

He may feel he doesn’t want to burden you with his internal struggles. And yet, not sharing results in increased feelings of loneliness and isolation.

He’s trying to avoid conflict

If your husband is suddenly ignoring you, he may be bothered by something and is keeping it bottled inside to avoid conflict.

Sometimes, it seems easier to ignore a problem than to face it head-on and deal with it.

Your husband may not want to upset you or cause a fight.

However, if you don’t confront the issue head-on, husbands’ frustrations often come out in a passive-aggressive way—like giving you the silent treatment.

While your husband may try to ‘keep the peace,’ ignoring issues instead of talking about them only makes things worse.

Not only are you unable to resolve the issue, but as your husband ignores you, it creates more hurt and disconnection.

Related Reading: My Husband Thinks He Does Nothing Wrong

He’s feeling unheard

Sometimes, husbands ignore their wives when they feel unappreciated or unheard in their marriage.

A husband may feel his wife is not paying attention to his needs and desires.

Your husband may feel unheard if you don’t regularly make time to sit down and check in with each other. He may feel neglected or unseen, leading him to ignore you.

He’s struggling to move on from past hurts

If there has been any form of infidelity in marriage or betrayal in the relationship, one partner may avoid interactions with the other to protect themselves emotionally.

When your spouse ignores you, it could be because he is still dealing with the complex emotions surrounding the loss of trust.

While your husband might want to let you in, he may fear hurting you or getting hurt again.

He’s feeling disconnected from you

Another one of the most common reasons a husband ignores his wife is emotional disconnect.

There are various reasons why your husband is distant.

For instance, you rarely spend time together these days, which can make him feel like he’s not a priority in your life.

When husbands feel unsure of how to communicate, they often become withdrawn.

There are unresolved issues between you

Maybe you’ve realized, “My husband ignores me when I talk,” and you’re unsure why.

When there are unresolved issues, many men tend to shut down.

Built-up hurts towards another and recurring conflicts often cause a husband to withdraw.

Your husband might be unsure how to talk about his feelings. He may fear that his feelings will be invalidated or minimized.

Maybe you have tried to discuss your issues before, and your husband didn’t feel heard or understood.

Or your attempts to have a healthy conversation resulted in a blow-up argument.

He wants to change the relationship dynamics

When your husband ignores you, he is clearly unhappy with the relationship dynamic.

Your relationship dynamic is how you and your partner relate to each other.

The key components of relationship dynamics

• communication styles
• how you respond to each other’s needs
• the distribution of power and control
• how you share responsibilities
• the roles you take on in the relationship
• how you make decisions

Your relationship dynamics impact how emotionally safe and connected you feel with your partner.

For instance, if you take on more responsibility of household tasks and taking care of the kids, you might resent your husband because he’s not as involved as you want him to be.

As a result, he feels like his contributions are not valued, leading him to become distant or even ignore you.

Both you and your husband want changes in your marriage, yet you’re unsure how to deal with the frustrations.

A great tool to support your relationship dynamics is the Save Your Marriage Course.

You have unhealthy communication patterns

If your husband frequently feels criticized or judged, he will either blow up and he yells or shut down and ignore you.

Additionally, if he no longer tries to initiate communication about certain topics, distancing may be a way of protecting himself from rejection or judgment.

However, ignoring you makes things worse.

What does it mean when your husband ignores you?

Maybe you’re asking yourself, “What does it mean when my husband avoids me?”

When your husband ignores you, there is trouble in your marriage.

Being ignored hurts and cuts you off from love and the opportunity to connect.

My husband is ignoring me because he’s avoiding dealing with underlying issues

Ignoring your partner is a form of emotional distance and indicates issues are brewing.

Regardless of why your husband ignores you, it is a red flag that signals a toxic or unhealthy relationship.

My husband is ignoring me because he’s uncomfortable voicing his concerns

If you’re thinking, “My husband ignores me when mad,” he may not know how to express his emotions directly.

From a young age, men are taught showing emotions is a sign of weakness. When upset, they’re told to suck it up. This stigma subconsciously affects men.

As a result, your husband may be stuck, feeling like he has to hold it together and appear strong. Instead of talking to you about what’s wrong, he keeps his feelings in and hopes they’ll go away.

If you lack trust and emotional safety between you, he’ll feel like he can’t share his concerns.

My husband is ignoring me because he’s lashing out

When your husband spends time ignoring you, he could be using it as a punishment.

He likely feels angry or neglected if he is not getting his needs met.

As a result, he punishes you by withholding his attention.

Even if you reach out to him, he ignores all your efforts to communicate.

Ultimately, punishing someone with the silent treatment does not resolve the root issues.

It only widens the gap between you and causes more pain and relationship resentment.

How does a husband’s behavior affect a wife?

When a husband starts ignoring his wife, it has a devastating effect.

Emotional distress

Women tend to view their husband’s behavior as a sign that something is wrong with them or that he no longer cares about the relationship.

If you think, ” My husband ignores me unless he wants something,” it’s common to feel angry, frustrated, or abandoned.

You may wonder if this is his way of trying to break up with you.

You want to resolve things with your husband, but all you get from him is the cold shoulder.

Having your husband ignore you leaves you feeling confused or even feeling worthless.

You wonder what could have caused this to happen. You may even question your own behavior or blame yourself.

Feeling ignored or neglected by your husband affects your view of yourself, leading you to question your self-worth.

Destruction to your marriage

Additionally, when you feel “My husband ignores me when I’m upset,” it destroys the trust between you.

You realize that you can’t rely on your partner to be there for you when you need it or be on your team.

If your husband ignores you repeatedly, you’ll likely become more guarded instead of trying to connect. Out of hurt and fear of rejection, you’ll withdraw from him.

What is emotional abandonment in marriage?

Emotional abandonment happens when one partner ignores the other’s needs and withdraws from the relationship.

Emotional abandonment can look like

• Shutting down communication
• Ignoring requests for support
• Making excuses to avoid emotional intimacy or physical intimacy
• Lack of interest in shared goals or interests

There are various reasons someone may withdraw from their partner, such as unresolved past issues, mental health problems, addictions, stressful life circumstances, or negative feelings within the relationship.

Feeling abandoned leaves a lasting impact

Emotional abandonment deeply affects the person who is neglected.

When your husband ignores you, it is incredibly painful. You’re likely feeling very isolated and alone.

You may even question your self-worth.

When you feel abandoned, the effects can be severe and long-lasting.

Abandonment destroys relationships

Additionally, emotional abandonment is highly destructive to relationships.

Trust is broken when you can’t rely on your partner to be emotionally present and support you.

Some couples find themselves in an unhealthy pattern where one person pulls away. Meanwhile, the other person desperately attempts to move closer and is repeatedly rejected.

If left unresolved, this dynamic leads to further distance between you and causes lasting damage.

What to do when your husband ignores you?

When your husband ignores you, it’s understandable to feel confused, upset, or angry.

You may want to yell at your husband or start ignoring him.

However, these behaviors only make the situation worse.

Instead, follow these steps to get your husband to stop ignoring you so that you can address the underlying issues and stop fighting.

Gently approach your husband

First, ask your husband if he would be willing to plan a time to talk.

He may brush you off or ignore your requests altogether.

Ultimately, you can’t force him to talk. However, you can be aware of how you approach your husband.

Approaching him without blame increases the chances he will be open to a conversation.

Instead of attacking him or fueling the blame game, let him know you are worried about him and want to check in.

If you approach him calmly and respectfully, he is more likely to be receptive.

Set a time to have a conversation

Additionally, avoid putting your husband on the spot and demanding a conversation then and there.

Pressuring him to talk immediately will throw your husband off guard, and make him more guarded and he gets defensive.

Instead, if your husband agrees to have a conversation, set a time that works for both of you. You’ll have time to gather your thoughts and mentally prepare by having the conversation later.

Invite him to share

When you sit down to talk, start by acknowledging the behavior you’ve noticed.

Ask your husband if anything is bothering him that he would like to talk about.

Something could be going on that has nothing to do with you.

For example, he may have been experiencing stress at work or found out one of his parents is sick and is struggling to cope.

Show empathy and understanding

Remind your husband that you are there to support him through life’s challenges– and you want him to be able to lean on you.

Even if he is unhappy with something in your marriage, you want to work through it together.

Make space for him to share without interrupting or minimizing his concerns.

Listen attentively as your partner expresses an issue in your relationship without becoming defensive.

Even if you see the situation differently, acknowledge how he may feel upset or frustrated.

Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand his perspective.

Ask him what he needs

Let your husband know that you care about him and want him to feel supported in the relationship.

Ask him if there is anything specific that he wants or needs from you that he isn’t getting.

It could be space and time away to process the stressors he’s going through. It could also be more quality time together or physical affection so he feels more connected to you.

Reassure your husband that you care about meeting his needs.

Then, work together to determine what needs to happen so he feels safe, supported, and connected.

Express what you need

As you want your husband to feel comfortable discussing his concerns, assert your feelings and needs.

While you want to tune into your husband’s experience and understand his perspective, he must also see yours.

Clearly express how you feel when your husband ignores you and how it affects you.

Set healthy boundaries

Additionally, set boundaries that help you to feel safer in the relationship.

For example, let your husband know that it’s okay if he needs time and space away.

However, you need him to communicate that instead of deciding to ignore you.

Creating healthy boundaries allows you to get on the same page about what behavior is acceptable within your relationship.

Seek counseling

If your husband ignores you and you’re unsure how to take the next step forward, consider seeking professional help.

Marriage counseling is the most effective way for couples to address issues and learn more effective ways to communicate and resolve conflicts.

Book a complimentary couples consult to see if working with us would be a good fit.

How to get more love and attention from your husband

If your husband seems to be losing interest in the relationship, it’s understandable to feel hurt or confused.

You long for more attention and affection from him, yet you’re unsure how to get it.

Go on regular date nights

Date nights don’t have to be expensive or extravagant. A date night can be as simple as going for a walk in your neighborhood, visiting your favorite coffee shop, or working on a puzzle together.

Or you can try something new, like tasting a different cuisine, rock climbing, or traveling somewhere you’ve never been.

What you decide to do is less important than enjoying each other’s company without outside distractions.

Spending meaningful time together reignites the missing spark, helping you to feel more connected.

Tell your husband how you feel

If you’ve noticed signs your husband isn’t attracted to you, let him how you feel.

Then, give him specific ways to make you feel more loved and emotionally connected.

This could look like spending a few minutes talking about your days when you get home or sharing a hug before he leaves for work in the morning.

Spend time together

It’s common for married life to become stagnant.

Sometimes, it takes new shared experiences to ignite attraction and those feelings of love again.

Sharing meaningful time together is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship.

Let your husband know that you value your relationship by planning a regular date night– and doing whatever you need to make it happen.

Offer appreciation

It’s easy to focus more on what’s going wrong in your relationship than what is going right.

However, the more you dwell on the things your partner isn’t doing or the things you’re frustrated with, the more it fuels negativity in your relationship.

Instead, keep a positive outlook.

Notice what your husband contributes and thank him for the ways he enhances your life.

Focusing on the positives shifts your mindset, allowing you to see your relationship in a new light.

Also, The more your husband feels valued and appreciated, the more it spurs feelings of love and connection.

For a fun way to boost appreciation on your next date night, pick up the Appreciation Game.

My husband is ignoring me – it’s time for self-care

It is stressful when your husband ignores you or isn’t giving you the attention or support you need.

Manage your stress levels, and give yourself what you’ve been missing by practicing self-care.

Self-care is anything that nourishes your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Also, when you practice self-care, it increases your capacity to work through challenges in your marriage.

Self-care activities include

• Yoga, meditation, or deep breathing
• Eating nutritious foods
• Getting enough sleep
• Going for a walk during your lunch break
• Writing in a journal
• Dancing (even if it’s just at home)
• Singing along to music you love
• Watching your favorite TV show or movie
• Spending time with friends or family
• Getting out in nature
• Napping
• Trying something new
• Reading
• Doing things that make you laugh
• Exercising
• Getting a massage

Self-care gives you the opportunity to give yourself the love, attention, and care you’re missing.

Reach out for support

Lastly, if you’re feeling stuck in your relationship, don’t try to take it on alone.

We are here to help you navigate the challenges you’re experiencing and move towards a healthier, stronger marriage.

Join the Save Your Marriage Course.

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