Do you want to unlock the keys to a successful marriage?
Maybe your relationship is in trouble, and you’re searching for ways to turn things around and move toward a healthy marriage.
Or, you might be looking to develop insights about how to help your marriage stay successful.
Whatever your situation may be, we’ve got you covered.
Having a happy marriage doesn’t have to be a mystery. With the right tools, you and your partner can create a fulfilling life together.
In this article, we will explore why many marriages fall apart.
Then, we will discuss ten important keys to a successful marriage.
Table of Contents
Why do so many marriages end in divorce?
Let’s dive into some of the most common barriers to a successful marriage.
Lack of communication and emotional disconnection
One of the primary reasons couples end up getting divorced is communication breakdowns and emotional disconnection.
When married couples find it difficult to express their needs, desires, and concerns, it can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance.
Infidelity
Infidelity is a devastating breach of trust that often results in the dissolution of a marriage.
Whether it’s a physical or emotional affair, the hurt, betrayal, and loss of trust after your wife or husband cheats can be overwhelming.
Although it is possible to recover from infidelity, some couples cannot move past this painful experience.
Related Reading: Surviving Infidelity
Financial struggles and disagreements
Financial problems and disagreements over money place significant pressure on a marriage.
Ensuring you and your spouse are on the same page regarding finances prevents unnecessary stress and tension.
Incompatibility and growing apart
As time passes, many married couples grow apart or become fundamentally incompatible.
They have different values, goals, interests, or lifestyle preferences.
Growing apart is particularly common for couples who become preoccupied with work and family responsibilities and do not set aside time to connect and engage in shared interests.
Unresolved conflicts and lack of conflict resolution skills
One of the most common reasons for divorce is the inability to resolve conflicts effectively.
When a couple engages in frequent conflicts without resolution, it creates a toxic marriage and hostile environment within the marriage.
If you and your spouse cannot identify healthy ways to resolve conflict, your marriage may become unsustainable.
Domestic abuse and unhealthy dynamics
In cases of domestic abuse, divorce may be the only way to guarantee the safety and health of the victim.
Abuse, whether emotional, physical, or sexual, creates an environment of fear, control, and power imbalance.
If you are experiencing abuse, reach out for support immediately and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
What are the 8 keys to a successful marriage?
Let’s explore essential strategies and keys to a successful marriage.
If you’re unsure whether you have. healthy marriage, take our free relationship check-up for more insight into how you’re doing in these areas.
1. Establish healthy communication is one of the main keys to a successful marriage
Many wise couples attest that effective marriage communication is one of the keys to a successful marriage.
While this may sound cliché, it’s the truth. Communication is the essential building block for a healthy marriage.
Keep lines of communication open
It’s common for married couples to get stuck in a routine where they discuss kids’ schedules and utility bills, and that’s where the conversation stops.
They stop asking the other person questions and connecting on a deeper level.
One way to keep lines of communication open is through regular relationship check-ins.
Relationship check-ins allow you to communicate hopes, dreams, fears, and any concerns about your marriage.
Engaging in these discussions leads to deeper intimacy in your marriage.
For weekly, monthly, and yearly prompts to ask during relationship check-ins, pick up the Relationship Workbook.
Avoid unhealthy communication patterns
Research by Dr. John Gottman revealed that avoiding four destructive communication styles helps a marriage stay successful.
However, if these behaviors frequently emerge during conflict, the relationship will likely end in divorce.
The four communication styles (the Four Horsemen) are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
When communicating with your spouse, be clear yet respectful.
Express your feelings and needs using “I” statements instead of blaming your partner.
If you feel yourself getting too heated during a conversation, take a break and return to the conversation later.
Be a good listener
To maintain the keys to a successful marriage, you and your partner must remain committed to listening to each other.
Being a good listener means genuinely seeking to understand your spouse instead of focusing solely on getting your point across.
You can become a better listener in your relationship by practicing active listening.
Active listening techniques include maintaining eye contact while the other person speaks, keeping open body language, and asking clarifying questions to ensure understanding.
2. Cultivate trust and respect
One of the keys to a successful marriage is built on a foundation of mutual respect and trust.
Respect each other even when you disagree
You and your partner are unique individuals with varying attitudes, belief systems, life experiences, and personal preferences.
Thus, it makes sense that you won’t always see eye to eye.
In a healthy marriage, you and your significant other value each other’s opinions and perspectives, even when you see things differently.
Maintaining trust is one of the keys to a successful marriage
Trust is built through consistently showing up for one another in everyday ways.
Trust is strengthened when you remain committed to open and forthright communication and honoring emotional and sexual faithfulness in your marriage.
There are various reasons why trust can be shattered in a marriage.
One example is when one partner reacts with criticism or judgment when the other person shares something at the dinner table.
Alternatively, discovering that your partner has been dishonest about finances or sexual faithfulness leads to broken trust.
Regardless of the cause, it takes time and effort to rebuild trust in a relationship.
Restoring trust does not happen overnight.
If you are struggling to re-establish trust, which is one of the keys to a successful marriage, seeking the guidance of a marriage coach will help you find a path forward.
Book a complimentary consultation to see if working with us would be a good fit.
3. Show appreciation for your partner
One of the keys to a successful marriage is cultivating a culture of appreciation and gratitude.
During times of difficulty or stress, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and lose sight of what’s going right in your marriage relationship.
Perhaps you’ve become accustomed to the fact that your partner cooks dinner or does the grocery shopping and have stopped acknowledging their efforts.
A simple “thank you” helps your partner feel valued and appreciated for their contributions to the marriage.
The next time your partner cooks dinner or helps with grocery shopping, take a moment to express your gratitude and let them know how they made your day easier.
Show your partner that you care through a thoughtful gesture
Additionally, you can show your partner you appreciate them with a kind gesture.
For example, write your spouse a thoughtful love note.
Let your spouse know everything you admire about them, such as their commitment to your family, dedication to volunteer work or creativity.
To add more gratitude to your marriage, play the Appreciation Game.
4. Set aside time for intimacy
Amid endless work and family responsibilities, it can be easy to push intimacy to the backburner.
In turn, you may find the romance factor is lacking in your married life.
To maintain a happy marriage, you and your partner must consistently put in effort to keep the spark alive.
Planning a regular date night is one of the keys to a successful marriage
A successful relationship requires intentional quality time spent together.
Special dates infuse a little romance and passion into your marriage.
Setting aside time for date night allows you to enjoy each other’s company without interruptions.
That said, making date night a priority does require planning ahead.
You may need to finish work beforehand or arrange for your kids to have a play date.
Despite the added effort, committing to a date night is well worth it as it brings you and your spouse closer, reigniting the romance factor in your relationship.
If you’re tired of doing the same things, pick up the Relationship Workbook for 100+ ideas for special dates, unique outings, and weekend getaways.
Related Reading: 37 Creative Date Night Ideas For Fun Dates
5. Create healthy boundaries
Another essential key to maintaining a happy marriage is setting healthy boundaries.
Boundaries allow you to clearly define what is okay and what is not okay within the relationship.
Without boundaries, you and your partner may fall into negative patterns and relationship dynamics, such as codependency.
On the other hand, being open and honest about your needs and limitations increases emotional safety and trust within the relationship.
Setting boundaries can take many forms, such as effectively communicating how you do or don’t like to be touched or requesting alone time.
Take time for yourself
In healthy relationships, there is a balance between spending time together and taking time apart.
While enjoying each other’s company is crucial, having alone time to recharge, enjoy personal interests, and nurture your spiritual side is equally important.
Set aside time to visit with friends or family, do volunteer work, take classes, or work on creative projects.
By taking the space to enjoy personal interests and nurture your well-being, you’ll have more capacity to be a good partner.
6. Accept your partner as they are
One of the keys to a successful marriage requires fully accepting your spouse for who they are.
The media we consume through movies, TV, and music often paints an inaccurate picture of love.
We develop false perspectives about what marriage will look like.
We imagine finding the “perfect partner” with all the qualities we desire and no flaws.
When we realize that our spouse is not flawless, we become sorely disappointed.
To have the keys to a successful marriage, we must let go of the idea of a perfect fairy tale love story and embrace more realistic expectations about what it means to live happily ever after.
Find the beauty in your partner’s imperfections
Like you, your partner has both positive qualities and areas for growth.
Acknowledge and celebrate your partner’s strengths while embracing their weaknesses.
Instead of getting frustrated with each other’s flaws, find ways to help each other grow and develop new life perspectives.
Create a good marriage by loving and supporting each other through your imperfections.
Accepting that your relationship does not have to be perfect to be deeply fulfilling is how you live happily ever after.
7. Be willing to ask for and extend forgiveness
You and your spouse are human, and there will be times when each of you makes mistakes.
One key to a happy marriage is to take responsibility for your actions and apologize when you mess up.
Acknowledge how you have hurt your partner or created adversity.
In a successful relationship, you and your partner are ready to forgive each other when the other person makes mistakes.
Don’t fall victim to holding grudges or harboring resentment toward your partner.
Instead, demonstrate unconditional love towards your spouse and move forward together, focusing on the life you’re building.
8. Don’t hesitate to seek support
At times, we get stuck and require the guidance and support of others to find a way forward.
If you are experiencing challenges in your relationship and are unsure how to make your marriage successful, seek support from a marriage counselor rather than trying to figure it out all on your own.
Relationship coaching is one of the keys to a successful marriage
A couples therapist or coach will assist you in addressing the challenges you’re facing and breaking out of unhealthy patterns.
Moreover, they will help you to apply these skills and keys to a successful marriage in everyday ways.
Regardless of how difficult things may seem, it is possible to turn things around and have the happy marriage you long for.
Take a first step today and join the Save Your Marriage course.
What are the keys to a successful marriage?
The keys to a successful marriage are loving communication, trust and respect, expressed appreciation, physical and emotional intimacy, healthy boundaries, acceptance, forgiveness, and willingness to seek support.
What does a perfect marriage look like?
A perfect marriage varies from couple to couple but typically includes loving communication, trust, quality time, intimacy, shared values, friendship, laughter, and fun. No marriage is perfect, but the foundation of a strong partnership is love, mutual respect, and ongoing efforts to nurture your connection.
What holds a marriage together?
Holding a marriage together requires listening with empathy, speaking with kindness, and embracing both the beauty and imperfections of merging two lives. It’s about nurturing the flame of love, maintaining a friendship, and consistently choosing to develop and adapt as individuals and as partners.
What keeps a marriage strong?
Marriage is strengthened by shared joy and adversity and the willingness to stand by each other through thick and thin. That means celebrating each other’s wins and being there through the challenges. It involves respecting each other’s individuality and sharing common values that create a solid foundation.
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