5 Steps For How To Deal With Emotional Neglect In Marriage

Many people want to know how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage. But first, what is emotional neglect?

Here are five signs that emotional neglect is present in your marriage

Feeling neglected by your wife or husband can cause you to feel overlooked and unimportant. When emotional neglect occurs, you may not even notice it at first. However, emotional neglect grounds you down over time and can leave you desperate for affection or attention. If left unaddressed, emotional neglect can eventually lead to the dissolution of your relationship or signs of divorce.

1. Your feelings or thoughts are not respected. 

In some cases, your spouse may appear to be listening to what you have to say but then dismiss your thoughts. As a result, you wonder whether or not they are listening at all. Furthermore, you begin to feel devalued, irrelevant or left wondering how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage.

2. Your spouse would rather support others and not you. 

You may notice that your spouse lends an ear to others’ problems but won’t listen to your concerns. Unfortunately, this makes it clear that they can still listen and respond to emotional needs. However, they do not offer you emotional support. Eventually, this may lead you to believe they no longer care about you.

3. Your marriage lacks intimacy.

Physical and emotional intimacy go hand and hand. When couples emotionally tune into each other, their sexual relationship is more satisfying and meaningful. 

However, if you or your spouse have lost interest in sexual intimacy, this could signify an emotional disconnect.

For example, you may feel like your husband or wife doesn’t desire you.

Or perhaps they want sex but not intimacy– so your sexual encounters end up feeling empty and unfulfilling.

Related Article: Signs My Husband Isn’t Attracted To Me

4. Your spouse lacks empathy. 

Knowing how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage is tricky, especially if your spouse lacks empathy. Empathy is the ability to see things from another’s point of view and relate to their feelings based on what they’re going through. When empathy is missing in a relationship, this can signify that your spouse is shutting down emotionally.

Related Article: How To Make My Husband Attracted To Me

5. You don’t feel heard. 

Your spouse may interrupt you regularly and not let you finish what you are saying. Again, this may signify that they don’t value what you have to say. Or it could be a sign that they are emotionally unavailable.

The next thing you need to do if you are wondering how to deal with emotional neglect in a marriage is to learn how to spot it.

In this video, I share how to communicate in a way that strengthens your relationship.

Related Article: 11 Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me

How To Spot Emotional Neglect In Marriage?

Sometimes, the best way how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage is by examining your feelings and actions. Here are five things to look for if you suspect neglect in your emotional relationship. Here are some examples of emotional neglect in marriage.

1. You avoid talking about difficult things.

If you haven’t been communicating effectively, you may not want to bring up relationship problems that could be misconstrued or may trigger a harsh reaction. It seems easier to keep your feelings inside to avoid conflict.

2. You don’t feel like you and your spouse are a team. 

You may want to work together on projects or come together to approach difficult issues. However, if your spouse works against you, they don’t view you as their teammate.

3. You’re not excited to share news with your spouse.

If there have been signs that your spouse doesn’t value you, you may fear they’ll dismiss the things you’re excited about.

4. Your spouse is not compassionate.

You may need your spouse to be compassionate and comfort you. Unfortunately, they aren’t able to make you feel loved or safe. Sometimes, they engage in unhealthy behaviors, like giving you the silent treatment.

5. Your conversations lack emotional connection.

If your topics are based on just facts and no feelings, you may not be emotionally satisfied in your relationship.

 If your conversations lack emotion, you may feel like something is missing in your relationship. You may also feel that your relationship is hollow or empty.

If you want to learn how to deal with emotional neglect in a marriage, it’s essential to look at ways to save your marriage.

How To Fix Emotional Neglect In Marriage?

Maybe you’re thinking, “My wife neglects me emotionally and sexually,” or “My husband repeatedly invalidates my feelings”

If you wonder how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage, you first need to decide if you and your partner are willing to do the work to change this painful cycle. 

 At times, you might get so caught up in figuring out what is wrong with your marriage that you don’t ask yourself, “What is right?”  

Here are five steps you can take to help fix and prevent emotional neglect in a marriage:

1. Acknowledge there is a problem.

If you’re wondering how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage, you’re most likely experiencing it. Acknowledging emotional neglect in your marriage is the first step in lessening the emotional distance between you and your spouse. Your spouse must be willing to take responsibility for hurting someone they love.

2. Create an emotionally safe place.

If there is emotional neglect in your marriage, chances are you do not feel emotionally safe. For instance, you may not feel it is safe to bring up concerns because you may not be listened to or misunderstood. But, as you’ll find throughout this blog, emotional safety is critical to developing intimacy in marriage. 

3. Work on developing effective communication.

Learning how to use active listening or “I” statements will help to improve your relationship communication. If you and your emotionally neglectful partner can learn more skills for healthy communication together, you can end emotional neglect and repair your relationship. 

4. Learn how to fight fair.

Learning how to end arguments in marriage is part of effective communication. However, emotionally unavailable men and women can have a difficult time fighting fair because they are not interested in making an effort to find out why their spouse is upset. 

I often hear from women who are in emotionally negligent marriages, “My husband thinks he does nothing wrong.” It is tough to solve problems in a marriage if one of the spouses refuses to take responsibility for their part in a conflict. 

5. Seek out marriage counseling.

If you wonder how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage, the sooner you seek professional help, the better.

However, if you want to try and figure some things out for yourself, look into marriage books that offer insight into healthy relationships.

You can order my book, Save Your Marriage Workbook. This will give you some guidelines on healing your marriage. 

You may even seek out relationship support to help you and your partner address the problem.

In some cases, it can help to have a few sessions on your own. This can help you end those feelings of being crazy, gaslit, or like you don’t matter. 

What you feel matters is essential you and your partner address this issue; otherwise, your relationship lacks love, passion and deep connection. 

Book a complimentary couple’s consult.

How To Heal From Emotional Neglect In Marriage?

After pondering how to deal with emotional neglect in a marriage, you may wonder how you heal the wounds you have incurred from the neglect.

Often, when people evaluate the emotional neglect they have experienced in a marriage, they learn things about themselves. For example, it’s not uncommon to realize you suffered from childhood emotional neglect, and now your relationship has the same painful patterns.

Regardless of whether or not you suffered from childhood emotional neglect, you have wounds that need healing now. The pains and effects of emotional neglect in marriage run deep, and the healing process takes time. 

Here are some strategies you may use to heal from emotional neglect.

1. Get in touch with your feelings.

When you are emotionally neglected, you are taught that your feelings don’t count. Furthermore, you are discouraged from expressing any feelings you may have. Yet, getting in touch with those feelings is essential. You can do this by keeping a journal, talking with friends or family, or exploring these deeply held emotions through professional counseling.

2. Work on your self-esteem.

When someone devalues you, you end up with low self-esteem. As a result, you may lose yourself. For example, you may have learned what it is to treat yourself poorly and forgotten how to treat yourself with love and respect. Your strengthened self-esteem can help you navigate how to deal with emotional neglect in marriage.

3. Become more assertive.

When your self-esteem suffers, you feel you are incapable of functioning properly. It’s time to remember who you are, celebrate your strengths, and gain self-respect.  

When you experience emotional neglect, you can feel pushed around, devalued, and incompetent. For example, you may feel ignored by your husband. It’s time to read some self-help books about assertiveness to feel good about yourself again and take back the power that is rightfully yours. If you think it could help, feel free to reach out to us, and we can offer 1-1 support to help you bridge the gap.

4. Re-evaluate other relationships in your life.

If you have friends or family members who neglect you emotionally, it’s time to re-evaluate these relationships. Then, you can try to work on changing them or move on. 

Likewise, before you think about getting into another relationship, you will want to learn as much as you can about emotional neglect. Furthermore, you will want to learn to look for warning signs of emotional neglect in future relationships.

 If you are wondering how to deal with emotional neglect in a marriage: Order the Save Your Marriage Workbook.

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